You Wrote It Online, Then I Read It

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No name, but it’s no sublime. Nigga, you know who you are. I’ll end it ‘fore it goes too far.

As 89.74% of XXLMAG.com’s readership is made up of Vitamin D-deficient RSS fiends who think The Da Vinci Code is real, I’m pretty sure that I’m preaching to the hairy-palmed choir here. For the 10.26% of you familiar with the scent of a woman, Nah Right—a site known to deal in unsubstantiated rumor, unsolicited opinion and innumerable instances of possible copyright violations—recently* linked to Joe Budden’s live performance of “Dumb Out” via the communist haven that is YouTube. Continuing their worthy legacy of distributing intellectual property of questionable origin and ownership, the cabal of thugs and venture capitalists that run Nah Right posted more quasi-legal footage of JB in which Mighty Joe proffers that there’s nothing wrong with working as a skycap for Jetblue.

This raises a few questions, but to make things easier for everyone, I’ll just say: Jetblue > Delta Song.

Now, I’d like to talk more about “Dumb Out” and its seven minutes of madness, but I’m not in a mood to go on about music that can’t be purchased at your local megastore chain franchise as today is a day of understanding (the older gods put me on) and I understand the right of nameless, faceless, heartless whyte men (some of whom may or may not have been on a certain Austrian’s dung list) to demand a fair profit for siphoning the creativity out of the hearts and minds of those who can’t afford proper legal representation. (Note: If your lawyer got their degree from an “institute” which advertises during BET Uncut, you, my dear friend, are kcuffed.) Yet, on this day on understanding cipher (study your lessons, chumps), I must also bring my gift of understanding to the foreign gentlemen in front of the roti shop have no small amount of Mr. Budden’s music available for sale.

This raises a lot of questions, but to make it easier for everyone I’ll just say: Joe Budden > Juelz A. Santana.

One of these men is what the game’s been missing. The other. . .

Eh. (A?)

Now, not to get all Joseph Campbell on you, but I figured I’d offer why Joe’s music has been regulated to 2-for-5 status, while certain insufferable imps can go on to be the people’s hipster’s choice. Quite simply, we unenlightened human beings require our heroes to be, well, heroes. We cry for reality—you know, real gotta do the laundry reality—but we don’t reward it. Those we deem icons, the men who polarize us** are greater than life, they rise above their circumstances and are able to make high crisis seem like common nuisance. As good as Joe is, he remains in the muck of everyday issues, which, while being what we want, is not what we’re going to respect. It’s not what captures out imagination. It doesn’t provide escape from our mundane issues. What we truly require is something deemed as “other.” Even if it is someone who thinks that comparing himself to the greatest scourge the CIA ever unleashed upon Whitney Houston is what the game has been missing.

(What did the game do? Put down its redundant references to drug personification on the futon like a set misplaced house keys?)

This raises a lot of issues, but to make things easier for everyone, I’ll just say: The Power of Myth > The Da Vinci Code.

Now, I’m well aware of the uninformed theories floating around—Jay-Z is secretly scared of Joe and is keeping his career on hold, Joe’s not ready to take the weight and self-sabotages his own career, Budden is worried that Game will start a Joe-Unot campaign, yadda, yadda, ya—but I’ll have to tell you, you’re wrong. Truth is, you don’t want the Average Joe Q. Public Everyman as a rap star. As an underdog, fine. He’s great.
But let him succeed and you’ll drop him like he was a hot Skateboard P. We live in a society built on legend and powered by idol worship. Unless he comes across a building full of terrorists on Christmas Eve a la John McClane, Joe Budden will remain an average Joe that’ll never capture the imagination public.

Luckily for him, he’s not above working an honest job, like a “real” man.

———–

* In real life terms at least. In the Internetting world, it had to be, like back in the Busy Bee era.

** I don’t even have to say it. I’m grown. My son gets more than you do.

  • http://www.unkut.com Robbie

    Nah Right > 80% of the XXL blogs.

    I agree that Budden’s going nowhere fast though. He’s doomed to forever be the “mad rapper”, crying that the label did him wrong etc.

  • http://nahright.com eskay

    >> Continuing their worthy legacy of distributing intellectual property of questionable origin and ownership, the cabal of thugs and venture capitalists that run Nah Right

    flattery will get you everywhere.

  • http://nahright.com KingML

    since when wasnt joe budden a 2 for 5? he makes club music for ugly girls to feel pretty to.

    cause you know that joe budden – pump it up, thats pretty unforgettable stuff there.

    And is this the best writer this page has?

    the power of myth > xxlmag writers

    and as far as being apart of a cabal of thugs and venture capitalists, hardly, when we’re not drowning baby seals in unrefined crude oil we are burning down rainforests to make our yachts, and it’s all for world peace, so please think carefully before making these insane assumptions.

    good day sir, you have just had a talk with the King.

  • http://www.myspace.com/geoffdilkes G Off

    Wait a second… there were rumors, opinions and possibly copywrite violations on the internet???

    Nooooooooo!!!

  • tyronebiggums71

    listen you fool how you gonna hate on the boy eskay at nah right you know he is holding this shit down, he breaks all types of music out to keep us real hip-hop heads happy he brings real hip-hop news and we say fuck 40 cent and i think thats why your mad at eskay cause his site is doing big things and 40 cents pulling your damn puppet strings. damn eskay beats you on every story you have up here we discussed weeks ago you slippin for real you think your running this magazine shit your less respected that yayo and them bootcampers because you cant stay off their dick.

    and by the way buddens is the best out. “your favorite rapper’s/ least favorite rapper/ the one they all scared to come after ”

    and shit you aint nothing but a little snitch anyway trying to rat out eskay for copyright infringement ( he doesnt ever give any retail shit out ) fuck coming at eskay why dont you go at youtube for that, you coward damn wheres benzino id rather the sauce back and you must be just like your hero ratting just like him.

    ” fuck XXL i got nah.rights adress anyway. and you cant stand it cause he’s getting bigger than you now haha”

  • uneckbone

    wow, i was a huge fan of this site. i mean like every day i would read everything you have cause its just so insightful and not biased at all *cough* interscope *cough*. but after this guy biggums just said that. i think i will go to nahright.com where there is no dry snitching.

  • The Cipher

    serious business Ty… eskay always two steps ahead of XXinterscopeL and they cant take it anymore, so they gotta be pointing the finger on a dude for doing something they cant do, and thats get the story first… its all journalism man, whoever gets the story first may do as he wishes with it, whether you like it or not… us real hiphop heads are going to the hot spot and leaving this place in the cold and its killing em, when you think bout it… the amount of comments they got on here today is the most they gunna be getting for a while if they keep taking shots…

  • Doc Flav

    Whats Foul Is That Nah Right Frequently Provides Links To Your Site. You Have Just Upped Your Online Game And This Is Not The Way You Get Props. Them Little Mag Editorial Rantings You Do Monthly Should Be Enough Elliot, Let The Dude Rep, Hits On The Site Didnt Come Overnight Eskay Grinds For His. Peep The Fact All The Responses Are From His Blog Members. You Need To Delete This Grand Thesis Of Snitchery. For Real.

  • Doc Flav

    Oh Shit This Was Kris Ex Damn That Really Hurts My Heart, I Been Diggin Your Work Real Talk.

  • http://nahright.com eskay

    ^ I guess I’m the only one who didn’t take this post as a shot across the bow huh? Gentlemen, I think you all may have jumped the gun a bit on Mr. ex, I don’t believe he was gunning for your boy. I love ya’ll for holding me down though… I guess this is a consequence of having such a passionate constituency…

  • uneckbone

    at least now he knows.

  • http://www.joebudden.org/forums/index.php?page=music Jerzey city mami

    all I gotta say iz check out da website, and HIS NEW MIXTAPE MOOD MUZIK 2, the shyt iz FiYAHHHH! betta den half the albumz our rite now and datz real talk. JOEY = KING OF NEW JERZ!

  • bluerid

    stfu.like i dont know everyone reading my shit.

  • http://Google/yahoo Meagan

    hey waz up this is meg!
    what is your lastest?
    From, Meg

  • http://www.aol.com co

    “im on my new jerz shit”

  • jay

    In one of Joes first envy freestyles to D-Blocks “we Thugs” Budden said “Ima bring the game back to where it was,lyrics matter again”. WHy doesn’t any mainstream media embrace that? Isn’t that what rap is? Why were Public Enemy, Run DMC, Eric B. and Rakim, and Krs such influential rappers? I can tell u it wasn’t because of a beat and a catchy hook. It was because of the REAL LIFE message that was delivered in the lyrics. Budden raps about real life struggles of the present day but it’s just ignored. Tupac and Biggie would not approve of the drought rap has been in for years. And since they are the concensus All-Time Number 1 and 2 rappers, shouldt we push these artists to at least strive to be on the level of those two? I mean seriously, its the general public who makes these people rich. Why are we content to let rap fall to such a low level? Get it together please.