Will XXL fail miserably?

First of all, I forgot to mention yesterday that there was a big thing about me in the paper here in the STL a few months ago. If you haven’t already, you might want to check that out. My new XXL colleague kris ex a/k/a gunyogurt figures in it prominently.

I don’t get the idea in general that very many people who visit this site aren’t already familiar with my own site, but there you go anyway.

Anyhoo, it seems to be the opinion of some – namely, the marginally talented Stanley Crouch doppelganger Hashim Warren – that xxlmag.com is at the risk of going the way of so many failed hip-hop sites, including 360hiphop.com and Urban Box Office. I wonder if this is really the case.

The bush league hip-hop journalist sayeth:

Their motivation was the bottom line of a spreadsheet, not love for the culture, and hip-hop fans have always been good at sniffing that out.

Where are all these sites now? Most have died, and now only exist in what I like to call the Online Hip-Hop Graveyard.

You see, the Puerto Rican woman who runs SOHH, where Hashim works, does so out of sheer love for the culture, including breakdancing and graffiti writing. The copious amount of ads from the US Army are just there to pay for the bandwith.

That amount of love each month will run you.

XXL, meanwhile, is secretly owned by Jimmy “Double Fantasy” Iovine, one of history’s most heinous Tall Israelis. It’s only goal is to make as much money as possible. You can trust that any money that comes from this site’s military ads is going to fund the international zionist conspiracy.

That said, I’m not too sure what there is to suggest that this site will somehow fail. Its print counterpart hasn’t exactly failed, now has it? According to editor-in-chief Elliott “Yellow Snow” Wilson, who I once spoke with briefly, it does extremely well.

Not to put anybody’s business out there in the street, but I approached SOHH about blogging for them before I started blogging here, and they basically told me to go fuck myself. I’m not sure, but I get the feeling in general they don’t like me.

Not that I was ever that crazy about the idea of working with SOHH. Let’s face it, the quality of the content there is generally pretty awful. I mean, I’m sure they try hard (out of love); it’s just that they don’t have any talented people working for them.

But then I was willing to deal with that for $500 a month. Not that that’s how much they pay their bloggers, but, you know, I’m saying if it was. They don’t pay me shit here, other than the privilege to tell chicks in the club that I work as a columnist for XXL, which is mostly true.

I’ve yet to actually try that, but when I do, you can rest assured I’ll write about it here. Chicks will bang you if they think you work for an important magazine, right? I should hop on that before my new shoes get dirty. It could be a minute before I get another pair.

  • WoW

    word??

  • suckitmarshall

    Jimmy Iovine is short. And though jewish, probably not from Isreal.

  • Coop

    I’m calling first, but for real this time.

    >> the marginally talented Stanley Crouch doppelganger Hashim Warren

    haha, is Hashim the next (black) Clyde Smith?

  • http://www.tonyskansascity.com Tony

    I wouldn’t exactly call the Riverfront Times “The Paper” in STL but it was ,in fact, a big deal.

    As for banging chicks. You’re 100% right, I would go with the word columnist and never use the term “blogger” if you want any attention from the ladies who will probably take off anyway for a guy with a demo tape under his baseball cap.

  • G Off

    I’ve heard Iovine is, in fact, tall.

  • daesonesb

    either way… the way the us army is cornering out all these completely unrelated websites with uber abnoxious ads is way slimy. But…Im not sure anyone really takes them seriously though.

    And they probably make someone a good deal of bank.

  • http://www.unkut.com Robbie

    Bol, you forgot to mention that all XXL bloggers get as many copies of the “XXL Raps” CD as they can carry. They make a great drink coaster, apparently.

  • Lyor Cohen

    I’m tall and israeli. Apparently we all look alike huh? You son-of-a-bitch…

  • Calmi

    i think this site is pretty dope so far, they need to be consistent with the updates and find their niche.
    allhiphop is good for news, sohh for forums, hiphopgame got the audio game on lock and xxl could have a nice blogging community

  • Fuck The Dumb Shit

    All I know is that Elliot Wilson is the only writer who deserves a column on this site…the rest of them are straight trash including this one. Step it up, please.

  • Cece

    This site is better than the other site. It looks more appealing to me. I think this site will become more popular because it has everything on it.

  • Combat Jack

    >I’m sure they try hard (out of love);

    You forgot to back that one up with a big fat NULLUS, homie.

  • nsaniT

    Well Allhiphop.com is doing well, and Dubcnn.com is having moderate success for it being a westcoast themed site.

  • stonyisland

    This site is by far the best, the sauce magazine or wensite cant even fad this. I would pay to acess this site, fuck the souce and vibe.

  • XRAY3000

    XXL better not fail..What else Ima look at when Im at work…? Na but on the realz Im feeln the site..IT WOULD BE BETTER IF THE CUSTOMER SERVICE LINKED ACTUALLY WORKED ~HINT HINT~

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  • SugarHill

    “You see, the Puerto Rican woman who runs SOHH, where Hashim works, does so out of sheer love for the culture, including breakdancing and graffiti writing. The copious amount of ads from the US Army are just there to pay for the bandwith.”

    The US Army ads are necessary to get black and hispanic youths out of the projects that aren’t athletically inclined enough to have a jumpshot and are too scared to sell drugs.

    “Not to put anybody’s business out there in the street, but I approached SOHH about blogging for them before I started blogging here, and they basically told me to go fuck myself. I’m not sure, but I get the feeling in general they don’t like me. Not that I was ever that crazy about the idea of working with SOHH.”

    Sounds like SOHH just recognized your articles as garbage and made the right decision not to waste lunch money on you. If you weren’t crazy about the idea of working for them, you would never have approached them in the first place. Now you want to hate on them because they turned your talentless ass down for a blog spot? LOL.

  • lmfao

    Uh, what Puerto Rican woman? FELICIA, the owner of the website, IS A BLACK WOMAN. You’re so stupid.

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