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Non-stop parade of delusion

Back when I started working for XXL (weeks ago), I joked that I might be able to score with chicks by telling them I work as a columnist for XXL. I don’t frequent too many places where the women would be impressed by that sort of thing, but I wonder how well it would work if I did.

Part of the problem is that, for being one of the top-selling magazines on newstands, XXL still doesn’t have the name recognition of say a Rolling Stone or even The Source. Even a lot of black people, when I tell them I’m writing for this site, are like, “Double X-who?”

Indeed, the very name itself seems to connote some sort of stroke book for chubby chasers more so than an actual hip-hop magazine. (Interestingly enough, the evil corporation that owns XXL also publishes a stroke book for chubby chasers under the name King magazine.)

That said, it turns out this may have been an even more coveted position than I would’ve imagined. Since I started blogging for this site, I’ve gotten a ridonkulous amount of emails from random-ass kids who think I can get their garbage published in the print version of XXL.

Unfortunately, all of them have been from guys. Because if they were girls, I’d try to take advantage of them sexually. And actually, I’m not even sure that would count as taking advantage, because afterwards I really would send their clips to XXL’s online editor Brendan Frederick.

Ladies, here’s my email.

Also, bush league hip-hop journalist Hashim Warren has started a MySpace group for hip-hop writers. Already, the group has attracted over 50 members, including everyone from a 14 year-old girl with a bad weave to Bay Area Internets radio host Davey D.

A cursory perusal of members’ profiles reveals that many of these d-bags work for the hip-hop sites and Which makes me wonder: How much are these sites paying these kids? After all, many of these bags are 30 year-old men with no other form of gainful employment listed.

Their ringleader Hashim once mentioned in a blog post that SOHH pays him a salary plus a 401k and dental, but myself and kris ex couldn’t decide whether or not he was being facetious. If this is the case, XXL may need to see about getting the same deal with the US Military that SOHH has.

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