Non-stop parade of delusion

Back when I started working for XXL (weeks ago), I joked that I might be able to score with chicks by telling them I work as a columnist for XXL. I don’t frequent too many places where the women would be impressed by that sort of thing, but I wonder how well it would work if I did.

Part of the problem is that, for being one of the top-selling magazines on newstands, XXL still doesn’t have the name recognition of say a Rolling Stone or even The Source. Even a lot of black people, when I tell them I’m writing for this site, are like, “Double X-who?”

Indeed, the very name itself seems to connote some sort of stroke book for chubby chasers more so than an actual hip-hop magazine. (Interestingly enough, the evil corporation that owns XXL also publishes a stroke book for chubby chasers under the name King magazine.)

That said, it turns out this may have been an even more coveted position than I would’ve imagined. Since I started blogging for this site, I’ve gotten a ridonkulous amount of emails from random-ass kids who think I can get their garbage published in the print version of XXL.

Unfortunately, all of them have been from guys. Because if they were girls, I’d try to take advantage of them sexually. And actually, I’m not even sure that would count as taking advantage, because afterwards I really would send their clips to XXL’s online editor Brendan Frederick.

Ladies, here’s my email.

Also, bush league hip-hop journalist Hashim Warren has started a MySpace group for hip-hop writers. Already, the group has attracted over 50 members, including everyone from a 14 year-old girl with a bad weave to Bay Area Internets radio host Davey D.

A cursory perusal of members’ profiles reveals that many of these d-bags work for the hip-hop sites and Which makes me wonder: How much are these sites paying these kids? After all, many of these bags are 30 year-old men with no other form of gainful employment listed.

Their ringleader Hashim once mentioned in a blog post that SOHH pays him a salary plus a 401k and dental, but myself and kris ex couldn’t decide whether or not he was being facetious. If this is the case, XXL may need to see about getting the same deal with the US Military that SOHH has.

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  • Che

    This blog’s terrible…a new standard of low, boring, mundane rubbish. nice one bol.

  • Che

    and that’s sarcasm you oaf.

  • Hashim

    also, please join the HipHopBlogger group on Yahoo:

    We have over 100 members there, and we’re even working on getting bloggers some ad campaigns so everyone can get paid off of blogging, without having to sell out.

  • Che

    yes please do join hashim’s group bol. go far far away and take your amateur literary theatrics with you…

  • eskay

    lol @ “so everyone can get paid off of blogging, without having to sell out.”

  • Bol

    Again, I can’t decide if he’s being facetious.

  • janice

    “a 14 year old girl with a bad weave” Bol some times you’re too much… lol

  • Robbie

    Instead of receiving an actual wage, writers for “independant” sites like SOHH Teh Ghey and All Hip-Hop (aka the world’s least dangerous site) live off the smug sense of satisfation knowing that they’re “sticking it to the Man” (nullus), whatever that means.

  • Bzpot15

    Who the fuck hired you
    your blogs are wack,you’re racist, and you admitted the source is better than XXLXXL
    ” still doesn’t have the name recognition of say a Rolling Stone or even The Source.”

  • Che

    tut tut bol oaf..not workin our for you this xxl thing is it? ah well, back to wall mart it is then son. haha.

  • Mikey Ess AKA SukedowN

    Che obviously has even lower self-esteem than Guy Crawford.

  • Che

    low self esteem? haha! this oaf isn’t worth the steam off my piss, he’s riduculous. his attempt at serious journalism is funny to me. I think it’s you mikey that has worryingly low self esteem in that you probably look up to the oaf as a leader, and if you’re leader’s a rapist oaf you’re not exactly gonna be the most intelligent man in the world are you? (rhetorical question motherfucker)

  • giveitupche

    this is the third or fourth time you’ve posted how you hate him. just bringing it to your attention in case you’re wondering how close to “obsessed” territory you are.


  • SouthStreetPsyco

    Bol = Che they are the same person. Nice try dog.

  • Ru

    ahh is stalking my phone. i am getting pictures of feet like every 3rd monday of the month from allhiphop alerts.

    “many of these bags are 30 year-old men with no other form of gainful employment listed”
    Bol, is this a confession??

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  • Mulberry Bayswater

    Pretty insightfull post. Never thought that it was this uncomplicated after all. I have spent a good deal of my time looking for someone to explain this topic clearly and you’re the only person that ever did that. Thanks a lot! Keep it up!

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