50 of Lloyd Banks’ Best Punchlines
The mixtape scene of the early aughts was loaded with prodigious lyricists, but few were as dominant as Lloyd Banks. A native of Queens, Banks would turn in impressive showings on local mixtapes, piquing the interest of fellow Queens native 50 Cent. Fif enlisted the then-teenage spitter into his G-Unit infantry alongside himself and Tony Yayo. As the young gun of the trio, Banks would prove to be a valuable asset, generating major buzz with his performances on classic mixtapes like 50 Cent Is the Future, No Mercy, No Fear; and God's Plan. He built a reputation for putting together verses that doubled as audio highlight reels and his prowess with punchlines was on a level superior to the average rapper. This made him one of the hottest rookies in the game.
50 Cent's co-sign was a golden ticket to notoriety, but Banks would spread his wings with his own solo mixtapes, releasing Money in the Bank and Mo' Money in the Bank in 2003. Scoring the award for Best Artist on a Mixtape at the now-defunct Justo's Mixtape Awards in 2004, Banks would then take the leap to the mainstream that same year with his debut solo album, Hunger for More, which would yield the rising rapper a platinum plaque and the distinction of being among the few mixtape legends able to attain widespread commercial success.
However, despite his household status, Banks has remained diligent in servicing the streets on a consistent basis with mixtapes series like Cold Corner, All or Nothing and Halloween Havoc, keeping his crown as rap's self-proclaimed Punchline King in tact.
To provide a case study of the G-Unit standout's most brutal couplets, we scoured through his albums and tapes to select 50 of the most memorable punchlines in Lloyd Banks' career. Get your rewind buttons ready.
"Duck nigga, everdays war/I'm heavy on sports, to my draw like NBA's store/Don't make me send the piece at you/I'll have your man walk around with another rest in peace tattoo/Look creampuff, you can get killed here/Nigga you ain't invincible, even Superman in a wheel chair"
"I know a lot of niggas want Banks gone/My kind of beef will fuck up ya grill and not the kind you put franks on/I'm hidin' out, so my meals is home cooked/I deal wit more ho's than a chinese phone book/You're high with your messed up ratchets/I'm out blowin' haze bags the size of ketchup packets"
"Act hard but ya heart made a marshmellows man/Talk tough, til you get cuffed and start tellin damn/Everyday I got a new bitch/And when I'm done wit her, It'll look like she dived head first into cool whip/You only gon wind up dead tryin to prove shit/I put chalk around ya head like a pool stick/I gotta have bucks on the waist/I'm hungry like a south african with flies stuck to his face"
"I'm about to get this deal (uh-huh) shorty know/That's why she foamin out the grill like a Alka-Seltzer pill/I ain't loud around a snitch, I don't crowd around a bitch (nah)/The jumpsuit match wit the Carolina kicks/I been sick since niggas was on Harlod Miner dick/I could call up a chick and put a child around her lips"
"Damn near the whole day I’m passing the green/That's how my bedroom, look like the World/Trade after the scene (smoking)/Breaking news, hijack, bus passenger scream (yeah)/I'm your worst nightmare, I crush half of your team/To me your line up is pussy, three wet Pampers/The uzi will have you shakin' like them G-Dep dancers"
"And I know to keep low when the heat blow/And have niggas post up on ya block like I'm shooting a free throw/Still get the green from Peedro/Better known as Pedro, I'm ghetto like a patty or egg roll/Yeah, they fiending to stick me, they don't know the ninas is with me/Snuck in with Christina and Brittney/Y'all only spend time at the mall/On New Years Eve, a body drops around the same time as the ball"
"I think little man mad cause I'm flossin' bad/I ain't a wrestler, but I'll put your bitch the Boston crab/I talk money cause it costs to brag/Round here bitches walk around wit the hair that the horses had/Rap it get your face stuck on them bricks/I don't really like to exercise but I'll push up on a bitch/Y'all sweet like ninety-nine bananas/That's why I got 99 niggas wit 99 hammers"
"I been a problem since the old days, pimps and gold caps/Now I'm in O.J. Simpson throwbacks/Y'all was wonderin where my ass been/Probably vacationin on South Beach gettin head like an aspirin/If you gassed, I can let the tec pound your ego/Or lock you in a closet with the West Nile mosquito/The press crowd in people, especially celebrities/I'm heavily shittin on any Tom Dick or Gregory"
"I don't bash woman, but I'll throw a bitch in a sleeper/I been this way since Rakim was kicking a speaker/You get fly on holiday's like Christmas and Easter/You only wear yellow ice if you piss in the freezer"
"I got a industry gangstress who arguse and steams the reefer/And who flip when I call a bitch like she Queen Latifah/Not all the vehicle's is long enough to stash the streetsweeper/This shit can get uglier than the Master P sneaker/We sliding through the ruckus, wit prada on the chuckus/Soon as spring break ho's home from college wanna fuck us/I ain't here to drop knowledge on you suckas/I'll sick rottweiler's on you fuckas, cops followin to cuff us"
"I know you hoping that we don't sell more/I'll fuck around and buy a house with more rooms than a hotel floor/Look, I'm radio ready, in every hood I'm heavy/Rolling solo, strap the desi, yellow gold and platinum bezzy/I ain't average stupid, I'm going the peak of Nelly/Nigga you starving, my money longer than Lisa Leslie/Put the handcuffs off ya bitch, you hope you done read it/She done laid her head next to more balls than spaghetti/None of you niggas can drive in my lane/You ain't worthy the only hood stripes you got is in a Yankee jersey"
"Banks is fresh out the gutter, too smooth to stutter/The Sig will melt a brother like two scoops of butter/Before I leave the crib I tell my mother I love her/Grab the burner, but she ain't concerned cause he's a earner/My bitch lays it out real nice for me to murder/We fight, wake up and fuck like Ike and Tina Turner"
"Baby had tried to steal off the payroll/I'll have niggas scrappin' the skin off yo face with the same shit they peel the potatoes/I thank the Lord for my blessings and I'm glad he gave us/The willpower and reflexes of Larry Davis/You don't wanna see my block formin'/That's a hundred and one dogs and I don't mean the ones with the spots on 'em/We're respected highly/'Cause you don't need to practice gymnastics to catch a body"
"I can't keep my eyes off ya, I can tell why them other guys lost ya/Your kind's rarer than a flyin' saucer/And that's why I can offer, similarities in our characters/Haven't you heard the word 'round town? How I get down/They gon' whistle, everybody part is official/And that ass wit' you, got my dick as hard as a missile/Don't hop on top, cause I ride around with a pistol/If they pull us over, I'll be out of town with an issue"
"Even though my dollars are green/I rap for the kids that's too poor to waste eggs on Halloween/I'm getting swallowed clean, my habits are good/Collecting all the karats I could/Sliding from a stash spot to conceal the torture/And a good silencer to make it sound like the Wheel of Fortune/All this careless talkin, cause I'm traveling and flossing/Having a good time, and you having a abortion/You sucker for love, getting married and divorced then/Can't even afford the batteries for your Walkman"
"Niggas won't understand 'til they man fall/From a exit wound big as a handball/Damn y'all, can a nigga spend a mill/For a house on the hill as tall as a Ferris wheel?/Niggas better chill - for the Barretta peel/Knock off your head and ill, whole bunch of red'll spill/Nigga I'm rollin' up, system blowin', hater's glowin' up/Frozen up, Range Rover truck color Coconut"
"I roll up, this is a hold up, ain't nothing funny/Stop smiling, and be the reason that the crime piling/Don't complain and die over a chain/Bang bang gang green neighborhood game/You know me, house slipper as them baggy sweets/I throw a bitch out the crib like Jazzy Jeff/All the hate is sidelining and they mad he next/Cause I got the bunny's with them fatties, yes"
"Bullshit kept to a minimum/Come at me on subliminal, I'ma retaliate straight/You need a M-F miracle, a Saddam bomb lyrical/Something chemical, hungry enough to scrape plates/A sure shotter, and rule sour/The mall's ours, the whores crowd us for twenty four hours/Ignore cowards, stunting one of my super powers/Stupid dollars, swagger and the coupe is stylin"
"You might catch Banks in the city with that blue and gray shit/Ropes as thick as the ones they hung slaves with/Shorty ain't ya wife, dog, I'm blazin' after ya/Got rocks on my neck from a cave in Africa/Just bought a new bitch got beige and black in her/Police watching us like an Asian trafficker/Go ahead front I'm dying to poke ya hater/And put a patch on your eye like an Oakland Raider/I ain't got a silencer just a soaked potato/I seen ya wife you had to be on coke to date her"
"Three-notes got my p’s q’s in my jeans/G-g-gee whiz, my ride's like a superhero's/Four-five ceelo, look how good I reload/Right back at you bitch ass niggas abide the G code/Click-clack deep hole, the industry Debo/We built these niggas ground up, why would they figure we fold?/Figure fours on the competition/I Yoke em, tell me you joking/My flow is like the levees open"
"This is heavy new Bentley, color vanilla and cherry/Andretti-O Pirelli make a movie out the getty/Where my ring and my confetti, I'm Kobe Bryant ready/Pink Rose and chronic smelly while stumbling out the telly/I'm so fly, I'm so ferry and the way I flow is very/Ginsu or machete, way my pencil move his deadly/Platinum band, platinum bezzie, make a straight girl outta' lezzie/Magazine, mac, benzie keep my windows like the prezzie"
"My regular scent is piff, currency, and Cashmere/You done drove your bitch away, I told her she can crash here/Yeah I’m counting paper like the cashier/Living like I’m limited, breathing like it’s my last air/My boy in and out the box, super stupid soldier/Told me if he could do it again he’d do it over/Poverty’s king cobra, squeeze your life out/Cause it's the fatalities and causalities I should write ’bout/These rappers ain’t iced out, they just fooling niggas/Running round town fakers, zirconian cubic niggas"
"Now every morning's a fast start/And there ain't problem getting dressed cause my closet got more aisles than pathmark/Run, move starting to rain/And leave wit 12 shells in ya mouth like a carton of eggs/I'm the young pimp pardon my age/I don't got long hair but if I did she be partin' my braids/Niggas find what club they at/Take 'em wit us, and run a train on 'em like a subway mac/Get advances from grey acura/See these record labels got most artists getting fucked like the gay rapper'"
"My top down, I’m flashing on em/I’m passing all them, pullover and hit the hazards on em/The ratchets on ‘em, pay my dues, now it’s back to ballin'/Your raps are boring dead men, I dip the casket for em/I’m back performing, I bag em, break their back, don’t call em/Look down on em like Dikembe, Patrick, Mourning/Cash is pourin’, stunt stormin, got these bitches soaked/Camera phones capture everything that pictures don't"
"I been locked in my way of thinking, now my cuffs are gone/Must’ve been the liquor talking, I’m begging the cups, c'mon/Might come off as irregular, I come in custom form/T-G-I-F, GT breeze, my hustler’s poem/My sound’s full-grown, reminds me of my favorite chronic/Ball like a SuperSonic, make the haters vomit/Nigga, make some money ‘fore you make a comment/I meant to snap a while ago, but who knows where the time went?"
"Go get ya camera man, that's a Lambo, fam/The gun in the safe the same one from Rambo hand/You know, whatever chedda/Flying my New York hoe in cause her head is better/I said I'd never sweat her, well, I guess I lied/She suck the ghost out a nigga, and I'm petrified/You niggas nothing but roaches, here's the pesticide/I spray a little, you roll around on ya' neck and die"
"Ya' boy is corrupt kid/Banks'll send a bitch to the store just for a piece of cheesecake like Puff did/You chumps can't afford these homes, look around, I got 40 clones/Now Look down, that's forty stones/And that's only in the necklace, I'm bony and I'm reckless/It's Tony in a Lexus/I'm fresh out the gutter, scrap what ya' man thought/I'm in the hood with more straps than a Jan sport"
"You can book me short notice, I'ma sell out in a night/The car won't get me there, but the helicopter might/I bring all the toys out, let the clique go shit/The whip so new even the bird shit don't stick/I got a hell of a system, the sound travels three blocks/Bulletproof doors and all you can eat tops/Running up to me will only lead to funerals/I'll button all your niggas up like Jay Z/And I smoke for free when I'm out in DC/VVS's in my ear, clearer than HD"
"This rap shit made me lazy/I smoke a blunt, get some head, and fall asleep on a bitch/Dog, give back ya bronze chains/I'm number one in the draft, you're looking at the rap LeBron James/I'm like a breath of fresh air, the hope for the future/I got land, so I be looking out the scope when I shoot ya'/There's a couple niggas emulating me, but they both clones/My earrings reflect more colors than snow cones"
"These niggas better start acting right, I ain't wrapped too tight, I'll leave ya head red and white like a apple bite/I got a fat niggas appetite, pass through the traffic light, smash on the coppers like "vroom"/The punchline kid is back, nigga/Look what my punchlines did for rap/Inspired the new jacks, that's why the sound like that/With their chain damn near to the ground like that/The Game you see now will shock me cause he's a punk/Two niggas in one, like Shock G and Humpty Hump"
"You can call me Big Truck Bank$ or Lamborghini Lloyd/Ferrari F-50 made me one rich boy/Niggas ain't sayin' nothin' just alotta slick noise/I got silencers for that, them rubber grip toys/Over 20 hoes that do what I say so/Fight ova me like them bitches on the Flava Flav Show/I don't smoke 'em up, this is major grade dro/
The flows tight like Bathing Ape clothes"
"Nuttin but bling bling in your face boy/That's why my neck shine like one of the shirts that Puffy and Mase woreI done found a nympho as soon as I pop a bra//She at my balls, head first like a soccer star/You can only stand next to the man if you proper/I take care of birds like an animal doctor/I been out and buzzin, niggas just slept on me/So I'm out for revenge like one of Bin Laden cousins"
"Look nigga, I suggest you go home/'Cause I won't hesitate to let the chrome touch ya/Nigga I'm never scared like Bone Crusher/Stand alone, provide my own supper/Tell ya baby momma stop comin' around here or I'm gon' fuck her/We'll try to take up for them lames around you/He'll get shots for free like I flagrant fouled you/I'm on the road blowin' grade A haze and brown/Got niggas runnin' like the KKK's around"
"Goon in the passenger seat, gun in his palm/'Cause round here niggas get foul more than LeBron/I'll knock ya off the board, you're a pawn/I fly like the pilot, getting my Europe on!/I smoke the competition, lyrical marathon/Neck look like glitter whenever the camera on/Stop - You don't wanna niggas show up on ya block/In all black, run you outcha house like Barack"
Yeah, ain't talkin' shit but we can all tell he ass/Jabs will black his eyes like the R. Kelly mask/You gotta blast me, yo/'Cause the Louisville will have yo head lookin' like the top of a pistachio/The young gunner with a raspy flow/Got every boyfriend thinkin' their girlfriend's a nasty ho/My heart laughin' it's small/Maybe it's cause my grandpop dropped right after the ball"
"I'll cut yo penny pinchin' lifespan/No sleep losing, anotha henny sippin night fam/So Keep it movin, diamonds blinding mr. iceman/He reach Aruba Make a movie out this nice lamb/Hannibal movements, I ha ha harr, I'll let the drummer do a number on you/Horrible photo how the flow go make the homi's jump/Another title for stripping equip Gennady’s punch/Crush the competition how im hittin like a shotty dump"
"You see me hurt, it ain't a question/Kicks all on that nigga, David Beckham/Punchline over flow/Over the lemon and the Rover low, it move better over snow/I make it rain so long my shoulder go/Only 25, but get fly like I'm older though/Nigga, who you think they imitate/Nothing but food on my dinner plate, watch how I demonstrate/Still riding dirty though, glocks on the interstate/Roll the window down, let the Audi 8 ventilate/Don't go bringing drama onto him/You'll get knocked off, like Obama if he wins"
"If you ain't dunkin' or dumpin' then go to hell home/Cause the only clip on your hip hold your cell phone/I know you're focused and you've been writin'/But all your beggin' is chewin' off my ear like Tyson/I need a bag big enough to get my mens straight/So I'm a need a O dog, and I ain't talkin' like Larenz Tate/A O.G told me to market with the block/He been around since they hit Martin with the rock"
"You can bet your bottom dollar, if it's ever a room that I'm tied up in/That Im gonna throw bullets like Boomer Esiason/Give him a wound where his eye has been/And lift him off the ground like a hot air balloon when it's firin'/My game's smooth as Mariah's skin/But I'm popular, so I travel with the goons when I slide up in/I'm blamed for the heat round my way/I made it without a Making of the Band or a Freestyle Friday"
"Ya boy sick, so move or the germ might touch ya I'm at the Rucker burner trees up like Usher/When I teach you how to rap fair, I'm in that black/My earrings a canary the size of Pac Man/I gives a fuck if you're sour, boy/'Cause my goons got the windows from the 24 hour store/I'm on the verge of flipping/Lord give me a sign, 'fore I empty this nine and leave the boy dripping/Me and 50 like Michael and Pippen/Ryu and Ken, whoever you send, I'ma rip 'em"
"Fresh out the rim shot, my wheels tick-tock/My steel six shots, the paint flip-flop/My charm trucky, that's why they wan' fuck me/Two-oh-seven McClaren, body like Buffy/Ol' head get rusty, and I'm a can of oil/If hip-hop do that, a hundred grand'll boil/We show up at your bougie event, get your body hung/Slide you all over the stage like Omarion/Then leave the party calm, on a Pepsi and Bacardi bomb/Bail ain't nothin, I make a Gotti bond"
"Put carpet burns on these rats for several days/Till they need bandages on they knees like Pat Ewing's legs/I'm always with the biscuit/The only way I get blue balls is if a bitch had blue lipstick/You broke, rob more blocks/'Cause you ain't got to know how to break dance to wind up on a cardboard box/I'm Guccied down to my socks, groupies houndin' the spot/We perform at, keep goopies around for the cops"
"All it takes is aim a nigga really tried to diss you/It's gon' be an issue if you don't fry his tissue/What's a crack head thinking 'bout right before he takes a hit/Hell if I know probably a whole lot of mistakes and shit/What the fuck makes a nigga want to have a relationship/When I could have a Caucasian, Spanish, or Asian chick/Nigga you could run but the lights'll beat ya/Put red dots on you like a slice of pizza"
"I burn an unfamiliar bud/Got a shotgun like Elmer Fudd, that'll let off and leave you hella blood/Ma, I'm hip to the game, blue ice chips in the chain/A few nights skipped on the plane with two white chicks giving brain/And a bundle of haze/At least enough to last 14 days, eat where they sell lobster/My eyes slanted like Pharrell's partner"
"I'm hot now, came up quicker/They comparin' me to veterans nigga, and I'm to young to buy liquor/I'm rollin' out till they break a boy off his chips straight/Strugglin' baby, I'm on tour of a mixtape/Frontin' will get ya bashed in/Nigga, my flows worth mills, like the dress Princess Diana crashed in"
"We like the Neptunes, just different teams/We both move around with Clipse and they spit 16's/I'll be damned if I trick one dollar/But if a chick come holla and got paper, I'ma get some out her/I'm high every hour, the California light green steamer/Am I hot nigga that Ike beat Tina/Ice cream beamer/You upset 'cause I say everything ya don't say/Nigga, you ain't smoking hydro, you smoking roach spray"
"Duck from the SK Special/Or I'm a leave ya fucking shirt looking like the ese's dressed you/Ain't a case when I catch you/I'll put holes in ya face like a pretzel/Make jakes have to sketch you/Arm and legs'll break the same time your neck do/Throw you off a projects for fucking with my set/I know you hate me and would like to jump me/Cause I play around acres like Michael's monkey"
"Pretty soon, you'll have to pawn ya roll and platinum ring/'Cause you keep going gold like a Latin King/Wouldn't buy a nigga bootleg if you like me/'Cause I ain't tryna hear that bullshit like Spike Lee/I'm outta sight, b, Long Island Ice Tea/Timberland, white tee, both arms icy/We got enough money to bathe in it/They don't listen to Pac in the drop, but it'll be two K's in it"
"I ain't generous or courteous/I'm runnin' from a dirty bitch, nigga you thirty six/You don't want it with the kid at all/Same shit bigger bathroom my niggas brawl/When we come after you it ain't no gray shots/The SIG will leave a hole in ya chest bigger than Flavor Flav's clock/You pussy, you wouldn't even pop the smallest chip/Cause on the inside you softer than a mozzarella stick"
"I get a kick outta lying to these hoes/So if you bust in my room you'd probably catch a bitch trying to propose/From a block bang out I caught iron in my clothes/Stuck without my ratchet, bucking my bread basket/Ear drums soft from lead that fled past it/Bounce off the floor injured my leg in traffic/Headed towards the Mackland/But its hard as hell to walk a straight line when ya eyeballs doing back flips"