The Weigh In: Action Bronson Predicts The Winners Of Royal Rumble 2014

royal_rumble

The road to Wrestlemania has arrived. On Sunday (Jan. 26), Royal Rumble 2014 will take place in Pittsburgh, Penn. Slated for the bill is the return of Batista, a battle of the titans between Brock Lesnar and Big Show, the WWE World Heavyweight Championship match, and the 30-man battle royal. So, who better to weigh in than Action Bronson?

But there’s a catch: Bam Bam hasn’t watched wrestling since the glory days of Stone Cold Steve Austin, Vince McMahon and the entire Attitude era. “I totally [watched] ECW and all that shit. When it was done, it was over for me. I just stopped. Then, I started having sex with girls. [Laughs],” he says.

Even if he grew out of it, the Queens rapper is still familiar with the biggest stars in wrestling. Here are his predictions for this weekend’s pay-per-view:

Daniel Bryan vs. Bray Wyatt

Do you know who Daniel Bryan is?

No.

Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar

I’m gonna go with Big Show. Fuck Brock Lesnar. I don’t know, I just fuck with Big Show. He’s an original. WCW days man.

Randy Orton (c) vs. John Cena

They probably gonna give John Cena the belt. Doesn’t he have some sort of rap album coming out? If he has another rap album coming out, give him the fucking belt and let him go get some money. He’s the man. He’s in movies. He’s huge! He’s on steroids. He’s fucking amazing. I wish I could take steroids to look like that.

2014 Royal Rumble Match

I am going with my man Batista. That’s my mans right there. He’s gonna come through and he’s gonna hurt somebody. He’s a monster. He’s an absolute monster.

  • Sook

    This is just ridiculous

  • freebread

    if you search the internet, there’s a picture of bronson, mayhem lauren, batista and mr. belding from saved by the bell with two prostitutes out there

  • Bobbo

    he totally knows who Daniel Bryan is… he just didn’t want to give the obvious answer: YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES!