They say leaving your 20s and turning 30 is a wake-up call that you're getting old. For Lil Wayne, age isn’t anything but number. Today, the Best Rapper Alive turns 31—which considering all of his accomplishments—it’s a joyous occasion that calls for a celebration. XXL has been down with Wayne since his early days in the Hot Boys and decided to put together a little birthday present for him. Sifting through hundreds of his tracks, we gathered 31 of Weezy’s wittiest lines, from his deepest cuts to well-known bangers. Still stayin’ sharp. —Complied By Eric Diep & C. Vernon Coleman
"I can get it cross the boarder, I got a Ryda name Winona/ And I be calmer than a soma, inside of the phantom/ And it's lookin' like a sauna, and I still stay high/ And I still got my diploma And I still keep the maggie on me like a Homer"
"And when we hungry you look like pie/ Sweet potato-ass nigga you lemon merengue, apple custard/ Cherry jelly, don't make me get the biscuit busta"
"Who that one that do that boy, you knew that, true that, swallow / And I be the shit, now you got loose bowels /I don't O U like two vowels / But I would like for you to pay me by the hour"
"Beat Without Bass"
Lil Wayne_Medium Marquee
"Okay, my leather so soft but don't think I ain't hard / Bitch say Weezy make it rain, I say bitch I ain't God / But I am God's son, but you know I ain't Nas /See, he got a positive aim, and I aim nines"
"And I will never stop like I'm running from the cops / Hop up in my car and told my chauffeur to the top / Life is such a fucking roller coaster then it drops /But what should I scream for? This is my theme park"
"That's why I try not to lie on wax like this candle grease / And I be's the little nigga / Cooler than anti-freeze defrost on your window pane - Lil Wayne / But in Hollywood it's Litt-le Wayne / It don't make me none / So that's why I got a pre-nup / I do"
"Maybach Music II"
"All-black Maybach I'm sitting in the asshole/ Classy as a mother still gutta like a bad bowl/ Benjamin Franklin on Ex how the cash roll/ That's right the mills do like damp clothes"
"Run This Town"
"C-A-R-T-E-R Put the beat in ER / I'm colder than "b-r" / Add another 3 "r"’s / Watch me like D-V-D, V-C-R / Pump to your chest -- I ain't talking CPR"
"I'ma beast, I'mma dog, I should rap with a muzzle / Peyton Manning flow, I just go no huddle / Baby girl gettin' straight dick, no cuddle / You know I'm out this world, I just bought a space shuttle"
"I pass the purp Don’t fuck with me ‘cause right now I’m higher than Captain Kirk / I swear I be the sickest nigga, You can ask the nurse And if you throw it in the bag, I bet I’ll snatch her purse."
"Money On My Mind"
Lil Wayne_Malcolm Smith
"I got my hand on the game, yeah I make a grip / Hundred grand in my fist, same on my wrist / Get key money from a quarter, blame it on my wrist /I whip coke like hoes, nigga I'm a pimp"
"One hand on my money, one hand on my buddy / That's the AK-47, make his neighborhood love me / Bullets like birds, you can hear them bitches humming / Don't make that bird shit, he got a weak stomach Niggas know I'm sick, I don't spit, I vomit, got it?"
"I got paper like loose leaf Come over here and maybe you can get a few sheets / My body's unique like the Sistene chapel / Fresh, six green apples"
"All My Life"
"Yeah, times is hard as it is/ That's why I got guns and my guns got kids / That's why I be going so tough on them hoes / I play my own hand, I don't shuffle or fold"
“Guess Who’s Back”
"Mama like ewww, how high is he./Real high mommy, high as can be/But little papi still got skrill like Bill Cosby/I am a legend a hero/Y’all just my sons like Theo."
"Uh, I'm a monster, exorcisms / Tote tools like mechanics, mechanisms / Uh, detrimental on any instrumental / I say you rappers sweet I pay the incidentals I'm beneficial, I've been official / I say you rappers sweet, tiramisu"
"Get on my level? you can't get on my level / You would need a space shuttle or a ladder that's forever."
"Best Rapper Alive"
"The young heart attack, I spit that cardiac / You can't see me baby boy you got dat cataracts"
“Holla At Them Boyz”
“Get out of bounds and I won’t blow the whistle/I’ll blow pistol, you hear me. Quit all the foul play out or I’ll spray out. Yall rookies need to be like me. I’m fundamental like Timmy but I can get flagrant like Kenyon/I care not to hear any opinions bout my image/Cause I’m the same player from the finals to a scrimmage.”
“We pass in them Vs and top is raising/My jersey is hot, my tennis shoes steaming my socks is blazing/The rocks in my watch is crazy, look goofy/Iceberg sweater kids yelling, ‘Look Goofy!’”
“Don’t even know where to begin that story about your whoodie/I’m younger than Kobe, vet like Rob Horry/I made it, pop bubbly your buddy is getting chubbier than N.O.R.E.”
"Baby, I'm a groupie, my sex game is stupid, my head is the dumbest I promise I should be hooked on phonics, yeah"
"Sky's The Limit"
You looking for divine and a little intervention / And them birds don't fly without my permission / I'm probably in the sky flying with the fishes / Or maybe in the ocean swimming with the pigeons / See my world is different / Like Dwayne Wayne"
“Best Of Me”
“However you want it, I’ll metal you homie/Hotter than kettles over the stove in the morning and I’m over the stove with a O of coke and some Arm & Hammer.”
“Down 4 My NIggaz”
"Catch me in the drop top, me and Super Blanca/22s jumping in the street we playing hopscotch/Any fools jumping in the street we saying blocka/Coke move lovely and cheap we saying holla/Man, we saying powder, heroin, grass, X, pistols, bullets, verses, sex/Weezy versus whoever’s your best/ Fuck a hot 16 I’ll Mack 11 your chest.”
"Beat Without Bass"
"Hey, I take three l's to the head: Love, Live, Life, and I'm dead / Young Money, Dipset, that's what this is"
"Life is a gamble and I'm all about my poker chips / Do you want a dose of this? I will make the most of this"
"Ask Dem Hoes"
"I'm lookin in the mirror, and I see a dollar sign / I had a cat scan, and I had money on my mind / I tell a bitch go and get my name on ya spine / So I can feel good, when I'm hittin it from behind"
"Blind eyes could look at me and see the truth / Wonder if Stevie do? But I'mma leave it to God, not Beaver, neither you / Cause I'mma murder Y, kill O and even U"
“Murder This Shit”
“Was too cute to work in a checkout line/So I stayed at home bagging up. But as soon as they got their checks they came to check out mine/And I was working the checkout line, I twerking from chickens to dimes, nigga whaaaan.”