Work Week: Five Other Job Options for Big Sean

Big Sean

Earlier this week, Big Sean played principal for the day at a local Detroit high school to encourage students to stay in school (a destination he previously dismissed on record). Though, XXL applauds Sean's effort to encourage education, it certainly ignited a laugh when we envisioned how things would’ve gone down if the ass-obsessed rapper oversaw an entire body of rambunctious teenagers. It made us ponder: What would happen if Sean took on other odd jobs for a day? Here’s XXL’s vision of Big Sean's workweek. He do it! —XXL Staff (@XXLStaff)

MONDAY: PLASTIC SURGEON

Plastic Surgeon

Sean’s well-documented appreciation for the female figure makes him feel right at home as he nips and tucks rich housewives and actresses. Things go wrong, however, when Sean begins insisting on giving “A$$” implants to every patient he sees.

TUESDAY: ADIDAS SPOKESMAN

File photo of Adidas CEO Herbert Hainer in Herzogenaurach

His song “I Do It” was already featured in an Adidas commercial for Derrick Rose’s signature sneakers last year. Adidas thinks they have a new hip-hop salesman until they are hit with a suit for copyright infringement after Nike claims they stole his “I Do it” catchphrase from their “Just Do It” campaigns. Tough luck.

WEDNESDAY: BARTENDER

bartender

Looking to spice up their hump day attendance, a local Detroit lounge hires Sean to pour drinks and schmooze with patrons from behind the bar. They realize their mistake before happy hour is over as a drunk Sean insists on standing on top of the bar while mixing drinks and yelling “I’m finally famous, bitch!” at confused customers.

THURSDAY: RETAIL CLERK AT KID’S GAP

Gap-Kids

Reliving his mentor Kanye's life described on “Spaceship,” Sean begins the grave shift at a local Kid’s Gap. He is fired on his first day after a manager accuses him of stealing merchandise for himself and Sean assaults him, takes money from the register and leaves with some new threads for his next show.

FRIDAY: OBGYN

OBYGN

Taking his love of the ladies a step further, Sean thinks it’s a good idea to try his hand at gynecology. He is fired after a patient objects to his request that she bend over and touch her toes so that he can get a better look of what’s going on “down there.”