Bumpin Bumpin: 8 Reasons Kreayshawn Should Delay Her Debut Album

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Earlier this week, Columbia Record announced that Somethin' 'Bout Kreay, the debut album from their hefty investment, Kreayshawn, is scheduled to hit stores on August 14, 2012. The news came on the heels of the release of "Breakfast (Syrup)," the "Gucci Gucci" rapper's 2 Chainz-assisted single that seeks to but falls short at recapturing the toxic magic of her breakout. Instead, it seems to confirm what many have suspected in the year since "Gucci Gucci" hit the 'net: the pint-sized femcee is a one-trick pony. Here are eight reasons Kreay should consider delaying the release of her debut album—until Nevuary 32nd, maybe. —XXL Staff (@XXLStaff)

She Probably Won’t Be Ready For Her Press Run

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In August 2011, she told Women’s Wear Daily about some of her White Girl Problems. “When I was younger, growing up in the ‘hood, being the only White girl, like, there’s time when you’re like, 'Shit, it sucks being White.' You know?” The chances of that—and other inevitable cringe-worthy moments to come (the March 2012 GQ story on her "pooping")—resonating with a wide audience are slim.

There Are A Finite Number Of Words That Can Be Said Twice To Create The Titles Of Her Songs

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Besides “Gucci Gucci,” she only has one video with more than a million hits, and it’s “Bumpin Bumpin” from August 2010. "Rich Whores" didn't cause much of a stir, believe it or not.

She Can't Rap

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Her new song, "Breakfast (Syrup)" opens like this: "Oh, it's Kreay, baby/Oh hey, baby/I get to work, you just lazy, baby." So, um, yeah.

The Throne Upstaged Her With One Line

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A chorus from Jay-Z and Kanye West with her name in it became more prominent than her. That shit Kreay.

Iggy Azalea Happened

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Even people who don’t care about either care about Iggy more.

V-Nasty Put Out A Project For Sale Before Her, And She Does Stuff Like This

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Nude Pics Came Out And People Barely Cared

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And that's not good. Those are supposed to maximize the buzz.

No One Reading This Can Think Of A Reason Not To Delay It

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And that's not good, either.