Rick Ross to Endorse Man Brassiere?

[Editor's Note: The billboard pictured above is 100 percent fictional.]
Rick Ross’ proximity to Miami Beach has apparently given the rotund rapper license to go topless whenever he pleases. Clearly he’s not bashful about walking around with his sagging triple Cs exposed. It’s Ross’ bulletproof confidence that make him the best entertainer fit to endorse the Telfon Manzier, a male brassiere fit for a bawse.

Inspired by the original invention and design of Seinfeld‘s Cosmo Kramer and Frank Costanza, the Teflon Manzier is an undergarment specifically designed for men with large, sagging breasts. It’s a way for men to move weight back against their chest so they can see their toes again. Ross’ back and top-heavy torso benefits greatly from support and aesthetic re-shaping the Manzier offers. It even features a side compartment big enough to fit a wallet… or a 9 Piece. With the advent of the Teflon Manzier, chesty men not only find support, but protection as it doubles a bulletproof breast. Brrrawse!—Piff Tannen

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  • T

    Haha slow day?

  • nibs

    People are starving and someone got paid to write this?

  • fukuxxl

    xxl ur garbage!! with made up articles ….smh get some NEWS!

  • 1ucky1eft

    Can y’all step ur game up? Seriously.. this is ridiculous. You are supposed to be a distrubuting source of hip-hop news, skip the “let’s try to be funny and always fail” act and step up! Please! I read this shit everyday!

    • http://www.soundcloud.com/NewLBlazement New’L

      I hope your right… and this is all a joke. Cause this is outrageous.

  • http://www.soundcloud.com/NewLBlazement New’L

    I am utterly speechless and disgusted. This is faggotry at its peak. Lil B names his album “Im Gay?” and Ross is wearing Bras to support his titties…. Some one kill both of them before they turn the game gay. Fuck them both this is he dumbest and gayest shit ive ever heard of. “Im Gay?” is not new or original its literally the stupidest name ever. Who lets them do this shit?… does no one stop these muthafuckaz and be like… “Yo… Ross… your wearing a bra bro…” Instead of wearing a bra lose some weight fat ass. Does no one stop Lil b from going in the booth with stupid shit like… “Yo… B… thats the whackest shit ive ever heard. Spit proper like i know you can.” “Yo… B …. your naming your album … “Im Gay?” …. bro…thats fucking gay. and not to mention a terrible name.” homie must have a crew of Yes Men for friends. Stop trying to be “Out There” or whatever the fuck your trying to do. Its not cool. its stupid. I cant beleive this. lmao. like fuck cmon what the fuck happened to Hip Hop!!?? Rappers used to say “No Homo” over things that were not even remotely homo…. and now B’s coming out the closet and Ross is wearing bras… and thats OK???!!!!! Naw. this dont sit well with me. at all. this will make people lose faith in Hip Hop… if they havent already.

    • Dubb

      dude chill out for real the bra thing is a joke.

  • zayzkidd

    This shiit is getting more and more stupid by the minute. The say that hip hop is dead but the magazines of hip hop may have been one of the biggest hit-men in killing it.

  • blick

    there should be a rating system for these articles , this one gets 1 star

  • tommy gunz

    its bro…not manzierre…

  • Serious Jones

    This is corny and gay, I thought XXL knew better.

  • DJ Cannabis

    This is total bullshit… find some real shit to write about