What Is Andre 3000 Doing Right Now?
If there are two things we know about Andre 3000, it's that he's a great rapper and an eccentric individual. Both these truths have been evident for the majority of 3K's fifteen-plus year career, and they've played a crucial part in forming his legendary status. Unfortunately for rap fans, that eccentricity, along with varying other factors, has also resulted in a scarcity of new releases from Dre in recent years. We've been wondering: What has Andre 3000 been doing on a daily basis since he's fallen back from rhyming? We take a look at some options of what he might be doing right now.
Right now, Andre 3000 might be...
...Doing Bikram Yoga
...Sitting with his legs crossed, with a fedora on, wearing argyle socks and wingtip shoes, a smoking jacket, and reading a Mark Twain novel
...Writing a screenplay
...Staring at the ceiling, watching ceiling fans go ‘round, trying (unsuccessfully) to catch that feeling off instrumentals
...Reading The New York Times, with The Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post, Atlanta Journal Constitution, Los Angeles Times, The Encyclopedia Americana, and The Oxford English Dictionary on deck
...Shining his Grammys
...Cycling through the Pacific Northwest
...Riding a turquoise Vespa scooter through the streets of Barcelona
...In Paris painting a portrait of a naked woman while sipping tea with his pinkie finger way the fuck up
...In Italy apprenticing as a cobbler
...Camping in Maine
...Skewing it on the Bar-B (it is Memorial Day, after all)
...Helping Cee Lo decide who should advance on The Voice
...Using a walking stick made of European pine and birch trees
...Letting his mustache grow so it will curl up on the ends
...Shaking his head at any lingering B.o.B comparisons
...Sighing, thinking to himself, “What a job this is”
...Making sure he’s present on the first day of school and graduation
...Trying on wigs and sending suggestions to Nicki Minaj
...Listening to Lady Gaga's Born This Way
He's almost guaranteed to be...
...Ignoring rappers’ phone calls and e-mails about features
And is without a doubt...
Which leaves us...
...Longing for some new Three Stacks
...Listening to everything from "Git Up, Git Out" to "Hollywood Divorce"
What do you think Andre 3000 is doing right now?