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It’s no secret: rap music is full of violent references.

From murder to rape, hip-hop lyrics run the gamut of all things vicious and sadistic and are riddled with pistol wielding and blade plunging fantasies. And while it’s all done in the name of entertainment, after recently collectively analyzing a verse off Biggie’s “What’s Beef” — more on that later — it wasn’t long before the XXL staff wondered: what kind of jail time would rappers do if they actually committed the crimes they spit about?

Here, we select eight brutal lyrics off eight very familiar tracks and provide rappers with some free legal advice. If you commit the crime, prepare to do the time.— Khalid Salaam

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Cam'ron, "That’s Me"
Verse: "We kill girls rape em / bury the skirts.
Legal Damage: In NY State, it falls under a class B felony with the charge of rape in the first degree.

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Bizarre from D-12, “Fight Music”
Verse: "Smacked this whore for talking crap (bitch) / So what if she's handicapped, the bitch said Bizarre couldn't rap / I fucking hate you; I'll take your drawers down and rape you."
Legal Damage: In Michigan that gets you an assault, aggravated injury and criminal sexual conduct in the first degree. There would undoubtedly be some big number attached to that bid.

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Eminem, “Marshall Mathers”
Verse: “Yo, you might see me joggin, you might see me walkin / You might see me walkin a dead rockwilder dog, with it's head chopped off / in the park with a spiked collar hollerin at him cause the son of a bitch won't quit barkin.”
Legal Damage: Just a misdemeanor. But still, how about a thousand dollar fine, psych counseling, imprisonment of up to 92 days and 200 hours of community service? Not worth it, Em.

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Nas, “Live at the BBQ”
Verse: “Kidnap the president's daughter without a plan.”
Legal Damage: Doesn’t sound as bad as the rest of the stuff on here but in real life anyone who does that might just vanish without trial. The law states it as kidnapping in the 1st degree and interfering with the performance of a governmental or political function.

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Lil Wayne, "Steady Mobbin"
Verse: "I swear you can’t fuck wit me, but I can fuck your girl / and make her nut for me then slut for me then kill for me then steal for me / and of course it’ll be your cash / then I’ll murder that bitch and send her body back to yo ass."
Legal Damage: Wicked lyrics, sure, but a very strong pimp hand too. That being said, its still 2nd degree murder, which in Louisiana potentially gets you life imprisonment.

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Nore & Fabolous, "DJ Clue Freestyle (98)"
Verse: "Shoot At Your Feet / Make you do the Puff Dance to Perfection."
Legal Damage: Compared to the other examples, this line seems almost cartoonish. It's still reckless endangerment and comes with a class D felony distinction.

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DMX, “Murdergram”
Verse: "If I get AIDS I’m giving that shit to 30 bitches."
Legal Damage: Legally, the law on this is murky but hinged on the construct of a person’s duty to report. Because of the vagueness, in real life a prosecutor would try to bury you. There was an actual case similar to this where a man from Western NY infected 13 women in the late 90’s and only got 12 years. In real life though, if this happened to your sister or something, this would be a case of vigilante justice if there ever is one.

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