SOCIAL SECURITY SEX
Two men were talking. "So, how's your sex life?" "Oh, nothing special. I'm
having Social Security sex." "Social Security sex?" "Yeah, you know: I get a
little each month, but not enough to live on!"

LOUD SEX
A wife went in to see a therapist and said, "I've got a big problem, doctor.
Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out this ear
splitting yell." "My dear," the shrink said, "that's completely natural. I
don't see what the problem is." "The problem is," she complained, "It wakes
me up!"

QUIET SEX
Tired of a listless sex life, the man came right out and asked his wife
during a recent lovemaking session, "How come you never tell me when you
have an orgasm?" She glanced at him casually and replied, "You're never
home!"

CONFOUNDED SEX
A man was in a terrible accident, and his "manhood" was mangled and torn
from his body. His doctor assured him that modern medicine could give him
back his manhood, but that his insurance wouldn't cover the surgery, since
it was considered cosmetic. The doctor said the cost would be $3,500 for
"small, $6,500 for "medium, $14,000 for "large." The man was sure he would
want a medium or large, but the doctor urged him to talk it over with his
wife before he made any decision. The man called his wife on the phone and
explained their options. The doctor came back into the room, and found the
man looking dejected. "Well, what have the two of you decided?" asked the
doctor. The man answered, "She'd rather remodel the kitchen".

WEDDING ANNIVERSARY SEX
A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding
anniversary. The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone
that reads: 'Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever'." "Yeah," she replies, "When
you die, I'm getting you a headstone reads: 'Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At
Last.'"

RECENTLY.... ONE AT ALL

NONE*

^^^^ Sex is like snow....you never know how many inches you'll get or how long
it'll last.

Women are like floor tiles, if you lay them right you can walk all over them.

rough sex

^^^no she didn't just say that

I ECHO THE ROUGH SEX