With the NBA season having tipped off this week, I'm dressed in my David Stern-approved wardrobe, thinking about what we'll see in the next eight months. Here's what I'd like to see:


The Miami Heat making the NBA Finals with a roster that looks like it has been imported from the Surreal World. Shaq and Dwyane came within one game of making the Finals last season (and probably would have beaten Detroit if Wade was healthy). Instead of tweaking, GM Pat Riley went for the extreme makeover. With White Chocolate, Toine and The Artist Formerly Known as The Glove now on the roster, the only thing missing is a wacked former supermodel and Florence Henderson as the Team Mom.

The Lakers understand they are The Fakers. Anybody talking about Phil Jackson winning his 10th NBA title in the foreseeable future has to be dreaming – not with this roster. I don't begrudge the ZenMaster for his tendency to surround himself with superstars in previous stints in Chicago and Los Angeles, but he was out-coached by Larry Brown in the Finals two years ago.
Besides, how many games is a superstar coach worth in the standings over 82 games? Three, four, five? Kobe Bryant is spectacular, as he showed the Nuggets in the final seconds of the season-opener (Yo, Melo – Kobe doesn't get a chance to hit the game-winner if you take the last shot in regulation instead of jacking up a shot with 10 seconds left). Kobe may lead the league in scoring, but the Lakers will fight for the eighth spot in the West – not a title.


Kevin Garnett traded in a mega-blockbuster deal. KG has spent a decade in Minnesota without much to show for it (outside of a hundred million dollars, or so). The Timberwolves crashed and burned last season, freefalling from contender to pretender. The offseason featured addition by subtraction with Latrell Sprewell and Sam Cassell being unloaded. But the T-Wolves are back to what they used to be, a one-man team. The Big Ticket needs a running mate, his own Dick Cheney or Scooter Libby (Calbert Cheaney? Scooter Barry?) or a ticket out of town.


Allen Iverson and Chris Webber figure out how to co-exist and feed off each other. C-Webb looked like a shadow of his former self after being traded to Philadelphia last season, standing around at the foul line, hobbling on one leg. I'd love to see Webber get in the post and shoot his baby hook. At 6-10, 245, Webber has the body but not the will to work down low.
In a related question, why doesn't anybody attempt to duplicate the sky hook? Kareem mastered the hook and made it the most devastating shot in history. Nobody even tries it. Michael Olowakandi has a jump hook in his game, but most of the time the Kandi Man can't find his game.


The Warriors make the playoffs, ending an 11-year drought. Owner Chris Cohan has gone on a binge, committing more than $300 million on the core of this team, led by Baron Davis and Jason Richardson. For some reason, the Warriors felt compelled to give Mike Dunleavy a 5-year, $44 million extension. Dunleavy has never lived up to expectations after being taken with the third overall pick in the 2002 draft. I was going to write that you can't spell Mike Dunleavy without the letters SOFT. But actually, you can. You can, however, spell DAMN, which is the appropriate response to Dunleavy's new deal.

The Spurs repeating as champions. I can't say I'm rooting for San Antonio, but I'm one of the many media sheep expecting the Spurs to capture another title. On paper, the only thing that can stop them is an injury to Tim Duncan. Getting Michael Finley and Nick Van Exel as reserves gives the Spurs incredible firepower off the bench. You might wonder if Finley and Van Exel will be happy in limited roles, but the Spurs seem to be impervious to that stuff. Unlike the Lakers' run-for-the-ring experiment with Karl Malone and Gary Payton, the Spurs appear poised to repeat.
One-liners: I don't want to see Yao Ming ever take another charge. When you're 7-6 you should be knocking other people down – not the one on the floor.

Nate Robinson, electrifying the Garden. The rookie from the University of Washington is pure energy in the open court.

Darko finally getting some run. No longer in Larry Brown's doghouse, it's time to see if Darko Milicic can't actually play.

I got tons of email in response to last week's column about the BCS. Most agreed the system is a sham and needs to be eliminated.

Sam Garafola of Albuquerque adds, "I can picture Bud Selig sitting at home and thinking: 'Thank god, finally a total screw up that I have nothing to do with.' "