“Love & Hip-Hop: New York” Recap: Let the Fights Begin

After a week of being off the air (and we were thankfully in peace), “Love & Hip-Hop: New York” came back Monday with a fully loaded clip of fighting, drama, and hatred. At this point, it's fair to say that there is no love, and barely any hip-hop, on this show, unless you count Lore'l rapping about "poppin' til she's faded, Janis Joplin, and gettin' [dudes] off like Johnnie Cochran." *rubs temples*

But very briefly, since we're on the subject: The aforementioned Lore'l was managed by Angela Yee (who also, apparently, manages Jay Electronica, and we see how well that turned out), and of course, Winter feels that she can do a much better job as a manager than her. Nevertheless, Lore'l is now being managed by Winter, so I'm sure that's going to work out great. (sarcasm)

Next up, we have the Joe Budden-Tahiry-Kaylin Garcia love triangle, which is a perfect time to point out that the word on the Internet streets is that Tahiry is married and has a­…how to put this delicately…venereal infection of sorts, what was known as the "contagious smile" in my grandparents' day. Knowing this, I can't say I'm surprised that Tahiry is nothing but messy and disrespectful (I've been saying it all along!) and she proved it by smacking down (unjustifiably) the sweet-natured Kaylin after Kaylin (rightfully) pointed out that Tahiry is overstepping her boundaries by asking Joe to be on the remix of her already-garbage song. Leaving out their personal relationship, Joe is one-fourth of Slaughterhouse. Why would he degrade his brand of hip-hop by appearing on Tahiry's song (well, "song" by default, anyway)? Come on, now. But God bless Tahiry for trying to play the last of the cards dealt to her. After all, she's 34 years old (for the record, that makes her one year younger than Yours Truly), and still trying to make something even remotely close to resembling a career happen for herself, as Kaylin (rightfully) pointed out.

Then we have the issue of Mandeeces-Yandy-Maurice. Apparently, Maurice is a long-lost cousin of Yandy who also happens to be her personal trainer, and who also happened to post pictures of her ass on Instagram. (And this is her mother's nephew; that makes him her first cousin. And he's posting pictures of her ass. Why do I get the sudden urge to scrub myself, harshly, in a hot shower, repeatedly?) Mandeeces, of course, doesn't believe that two people can be cousins if they don't share last names (which sucks for the Natalucci's, Lattanzi's, Gambino's, and D'Aloisio's of the world, because I guess that means you're not related to me.), and his confrontation of Maurice led to a beat-down in the gym. I'm sure this means that, next week, Yandy and Mandeeces are going to get into it, and judging by the previews, that's exactly what's going to happen. Call me Kreskin, but I'm going to guess that this isn't going to end well.

Next up, we have Erica trying to really make her career in music happen, leaving Rich to go to Diageo with hat in hand to beg for money on what is sure to be a ridiculous video (and got promptly shut down). Bless their hearts, but I still would feel better if Erica was still an employee at Dash. Unfortunately for us, she couldn't even do that right. How the hell do you get fired by a Kardashian, you bum bird?

Finally, we see the resolution of the Raqi-Jen the Pen situation. You may recall that, last week, Jen the Pen made the remark that she will get "put on" before Raqi by virtue of the fact that she's white. Intellectually, we could argue that Jen the Pen is aware of what sociologists call "white privilege" (Google it, but to sum it up succinctly, white privilege is a phenomenon where white people experience both overt and unspoken advantages that they may or may not recognize they have). However, in order to argue that, we'd have to assume that Jen the Pen is even remotely self-aware–and she doesn't have a self-reflective thought in her body. It's more likely that Jen the Pen said it because she really felt it, her protestations to the contrary notwithstanding. I'm sure that's going to mean great things for her son. (sarcasm) Nonetheless, after Consequence penned a rather-forgettable diss track ("Officer Down," it isn't...), he confronted Raqi directly and made it clear that she was overstepping her boundaries, yet again, when it came to calling out Jen the Pen.

(For the record, I think Raqi's getting the worst edit out of everyone. Prior to this ridiculous show, Raqi had made a name for herself on her own in the music industry, not as an industry jumpoff, but as a legitimate interviewer and radio personality. As a fellow professional with more than 15 years in the industry, I find it disheartening that the groupie birds–Tahiry, Erica–are being positioned to be superstars, while the women who worked their asses off to make something of themselves–Yandy, Raqi–are being made to look like pliant idiots, ridiculous birds, or both. What kind of message is that supposed to send? Granted, video editors can't edit what isn't given to them, but that doesn't mean that these two aren't being made to look like fools.)

Until next week, cats and kittens...–Bernadette Giacomazzo (@bgiacomazzo)