Byron Crawford aka Bol (Swahili for "the gulliest one") is the founder of the critically acclaimed hip-hop blog, ByronCrawford.com: The Mindset of a Champion, where he discusses racism, homophobia, healthy living, respect for women, tolerance for religion, and who really runs the entertainment industry. Bol’s views very rarely, actually, never reflect those of XXL or its staff.
Cynicism FAIL
Turns out no one really likes Skylar Grey.
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One of the things you’ll notice about these songs featuring Skylar Grey is that they’re all horrible, and not just in the sense that they’re corny rap songs with a wack R&B nigga taking the loop, as the RZA might put it, and that kind of cynicism makes baby Jesus cry – it’s her parts in particular that suck balls. I listen to the hooks she’s added to some of these songs, and I’m at a loss for how they could become a hit.
Skylar Grey wrote the hook to Eminem’s “Love the Way You Lie,” which was then sung by Rihanna, who’s much more famous than Skylar Grey, and who was once famously involved in a domestic violence incident, which gave the song an added believability. Could Rihanna have sung that song as well, if Chris Brown hadn’t put a shoe on her? She put some stank on that chorus, as if she were Tina Turner singing about hard times growing up in Nutbush, TN, or whatever state that was in. So far “Love the Way You Lie” has been the only Skylar Grey song to become a big hit, and if it wasn’t already clear that this has been due to America’s (if not NARAS’) inexplicable love affair with Recovery, and perhaps some lingering fascination with the Rumble in the Lambo, it should be clear now that songs she’s done with Dr. Dre and Lupe Fiasco have been released and no one seems to give a shit. Granted, both of these songs are sad, last ditch efforts at a hit by rappers who are clearly irrelevant, and it’s likely they would have sucked balls regardless of who sang the chorus, but isn’t that the whole point of bringing in a pop artist to do the hook, to elevate an otherwise irrelevant rap song into a big hit, if not an actual good song? Jay-Z never had a number one song a day in his life, until he did that song with Alicia Keys. I’m sure there’s gonna be a lot of singing on his next album.
The Internets here in the shanty town where I live stopped working very well at some point during this past weekend, and apparently they’re never gonna work very well ever again, though I’m sure they still expect me to pay the full amount. Looking at Tumblr pr0n yesterday (which is necessary, for my mental health) turned into a five hour ordeal. At some point in the middle of it I logged on to Black People Twitter, to make sure no one famous had died, and I saw where the new Lupe Fiasco album We Are Losers sprung a leak, and the consensus seems to be that it’s an epic shit sandwich. Every other song on it is worse than the ones we’ve already heard, which I guess would be the one with Skylar Grey, “Words I Never Said” (previously discussed here, in a post about Lupe had to have made up that shit about not voting for Barack Obama because of Operation Cast Lead), and the similarly awful, “The Show Must Go On,” or whatever it’s called, no Freddie Mercury, which samples “Float On” by Modest Mouse, of all things. (The label must have told him he needed to whiten things up a bit, if he wanted a release date). I’ve heard it once or twice on Sirius, on my way to and from the BGM, which leads me to believe that Atlantic must have cut a few checks. Remember that time Lupe threw a bitchfit about Losers being shelved, then he had that meeting with the TIs at Atlantic, then there was that picture of him and one of the older white ladies who’s in charge of rap music, in a sweaty post-coital embrace? I thought they were bullshitting when they said Losers would be released in the first quarter of 2K11, but apparently they really did print up copies of the album, which is how these things spring a leak. Alas, now everyone has heard the album, a while still before it’s set to be released, and no one (literally no one) seems to like it, which suggests that Atlantic Records was right to have shelved the album in the first place. They’re probably only releasing it now because Lupe forced their hand, demanding to be released from his contract if they didn’t, as revealed in a post the other day on Vlad TV about how Lupe considered suicide back when he couldn’t get a release date, because he thought it would prevent him from killing someone else, and because sometimes the rainbow isn’t enough. I wonder how those ’90s babies who picketed the Atlantic Records building feel now that their efforts were all for naught? Or do they actually like this album?
At any rate, it seems less than likely that “Words I Never Said” will be able to save Losers, which I’m sure is why it was commissioned. I remember one of Lupe’s main points of contention with Atlantic was that they wanted him to record those songs that ended up being singles on that B.o.B. album, and he didn’t want to do it, because to do so would have meant signing over his rights to the publishing for those songs, and so he wouldn’t have made any money from them, because it’s not like he ever stood to make much money from selling copies of Losers on CD or even on iTunes. The term Lupe Fiasco numbers is based on the disappointing first week sales of past Lupe Fiasco albums. (Not to be confused with the term Little Brother numbers, which is like a low expectations version of the term. The Clipse, for example, often do Little Brother numbers. The Roots often do Lupe Fiasco numbers.) Lupe might not be able to read the copy of Empire of Illusion that he carries around with him to radio interviews, but he’s wise enough to know that if he’s gonna make any money at all from being a rapper, it’s gonna be from licensing his music to movies, TV commercials and shit, Jay Electronica-style, and I guess you don’t make any money from having your music licensed, if you don’t own the publishing to it. Who cares how many Mountain Dew commercials your song is in, if those checks go straight to the account Bruno Mars uses to pay his coke dealer and the lawyer he uses to have his cocaine charges dropped, because he got caught doing lines off of the toilet in a Hard Rock Cafe, which is supposed to be a rock-themed restaurant. They should have fake coke on the toilet anyway, as part of the decor. #marketingfail Speaking of which, in retrospect, Lupe should have recorded those B.o.B. songs, if only because they might have saved his career. Even if he didn’t make so much as a dollar from them, at least he could have continued to record on a major label. It would have been worth it just for the advance he would have received for his next album. Whereas, I can’t imagine Atlantic Records will be interested in dealing with him again, after the hassle he gave him with this last album, which didn’t turn out to be worth a shit, just as they predicted. It’s too late for him to try to play ball. He already did that with this Skylar Grey song. I wonder if it required him to sign over his publishing rights to it, like those B.o.B. songs. (Not that it matters.) Skylar Grey was hardly a household name when it was recorded, but neither was Bruno Mars when that B.o.B. song was recorded, and Skylar Grey supposedly had a track record, from writing that Eminem song.
It’s not like it matters that much to Dr. Dre how much it costs to get him a hit single. I’m sure he’s got money out the ass, from bizarre Illuminati sex rituals, not to mention whatever he makes from those Beats by Dr. Dre headphones, which must be the most ridonkulously marked up items in the history of commerce, even more so than some of the higher priced menu items at Taco Bell, especially now that we know that the meat that they use contains so little actual meat that it can’t legally be called meat. Technically, it’s a “meat-like product.” It’s one thing to pay upwards of $4 for some configuration of sawdust, MSG and high fructose corn syrup, when you could just as easily pay $.89 for the same shit in a slightly different configuration. It’s another thing altogether to pay $200 for a pair of headphones that probably cost $2 for some poor kid to make in the same community where they shot Slumdog Millionaire, over in Indian. They may have even been made by the same kids. I heard they left those kids living in those same nasty, shit-selling slums, when they finished filming. #whitepeople Not that I’m complaining. Lord knows we’ve got enough Indian people living here in the US, not tipping at strip clubs and undermining our retail establishments by not buying anything at full price, when you know good and well they’re probably worth millions of dollars, from programming computers and shit. But I digress. Anyway, like I was saying, it’s not like Dr. Dre gives a shit about having to cut a substantial check to someone who can’t even sing. He’s done a lot of work in the past with Mary J. Blige. LOL And I’m sure whatever he spends on Detox can be written off as a marketing expense for Monster Cables. The key is to actually get a song on the radio. That way they can make a video, similar to the video for “November Rain” in its overall scale and likely price tag, in which Dr. Dre is somehow saved by a laptop computer with the Beats by Dr. Dre logo on it, a billion people will watch it on YouTube, as if it were one of those Lady Gaga videos, and even if only a tiny fraction of those people go on to buy one of those Beats by Dr. Dre computers, Monster Cables will make a veritable shedload of money, because those computers cost so much money. If those Beats by Dr. Dre headphones cost $200, and you can get a really good set of headphones made by Sony for $20, that computer must cost $10,000. Why else would Dr. Dre – a 46 year-old black man from Compton who became famous for singing songs about weed and popping a cap in people’s asses – be recording an emo ballad that sounds like it may have begun its life as a song about needing a shot for chlamydia, which is apparently rampant in America’s high schools, if that show Skins is to be believed/ (Even the chorus to “Love the Way You Lie,” come to think of it, could be viewed as having to do with gonorrhea. Think about it.) Clearly, there’s a lot of money at stake here. It makes you wonder if “I Need a Doctor” was recorded since that song “Kush” hit the Internets and failed to set the world on fire, like Skylar Grey’s crotch. “Kush” is more along the lines of a classic Dr. Dre record, with its lyrics about smoking weed (which is apparently a good time), and its beat that sounds like an ever so slight variation on the every other Dr. Dre beat since 2001 (the album, released way the fuck back in 1999, i.e. two decades ago), many of which were colossal hits. The plan was probably to drop “Kush,” have it blow up, then drop the album in quick succession. Hence all of the press around the time “Kush” hit the Internets, including the cover of the dead tree version of XXL. Then when no one gave a shit they figured they’d bring in the team behind Eminem’s big hit from last year. When that doesn’t work, they should consider having Dr. Dre have some sort of adverse side effect to ‘roids. You know, to give his emo ballads more of an emotional resonance. Imagine if he really did need a doctor. That shit could be a movie! He could be treated by a doctor using a Beats by Dr. Dre stethoscope. Someone get Jimmy Iovine on the phone.
i can tell ur taste in music sucks. lupe fiasco aint an irrelevant artist trying to make a hit hes just not famous cos he reufsed to throw away his integrity. from readin ur shit i can tell all u are is a fat failed loser whos bitter about everything. ur also a racist and homophobe and prbably a bunch of other thing too.
lupe fiasco is the very definition of an irrelevant artist, idk 1 person who really thinks hes dope besides like 2 of my homies who have terrible taste in music anyways, no body talks bout him… and he already dropped 2 albums that were huge flops no1 gave 2 shits about wit singles i couldnt name even if i wanted to lol
the only stupid thing bout this post is that dr dre isnt in the fake ass illuminati that every1 is sayin every rapper is in now
his first album sold like 400000 copies even though it leaked 2 month in advance or something. his second album almost went platinum. u think lupe fiasco aint as good as all these poppy arse wankers. hip hop fans dnt buy lil wayne and eminem albums white chicks do. u think 3 million hip hop fans actually baught carter 3 or recover. same goes for drake and nicki and jay z and all of tht. look at nas.
The Cool by Lupe btw is a great album, and food & liquor was pretty good too. Lasers is just corporate bullshit
RIP BOL’S SATURDAY NIGHT WORKOUT
2006-2011
yes i agree with u til the point of eminem. come on man em is a beast he only had one bad album and it still sold and had a couple good songs, the boi is raw but i do agree that white chick do buy all of lil wayne and drakes albums lol
@jimmyjam33 stfu nigga i aint buy no fuckin nicki minaj wayne r drake albums nd u buggin if u really thinkin eminem aint a beast cuz he the only mainstream rapper that aint ass
and damn son why u so butt hurt? u must be lupes woman r sum shit lol
WHOOOAAAAA! getting real heated lol! Lupe is cool and i kinda like skylar! Have anyone in here heard “PINK ELEPHANT” lol I would luv to hear what jimmyjam would have to say about this
oh and by the way asshole the reason no one like the album is because atalantic put there dirt hands all over it. if they had let him make the album he wanted instead of putting him with all these rnb guys with those poppy hooks and shit no doubt it would be as critically acclaimed as his first two were. do ur fucking rsearch asshole.
Yeah this is a shitty, overlong post. Lupe himself has already said he hates this album because only 4 of his original songs made the final cut. White execs got their hands all over the shit and completely fucked it up. Even Words I Never Said was given to Lupe complete with the Skylar hook and was supposed to be about a relationship. Lupe said screw that and talked about world affairs. The Show Goes On was also forced upon Lupe and was required by Atlantic to be the first single. The Whites even told him what he could rap about. Lupe, Immortal Technique, Pharaoahe Monch and so forth need to get together and release real shit.
and what you stated enhances the fail.
Lupe should have negotiated his release when the “protest” gave him bargaining power, no? then he could’ve gotten a better situation w/creative control…
haha dont ever compare lupe to immortal tech or p monch. not even close to the same league.
this post is classic, and for the record, there are not enough people alling out dr. dre’s irrelevance.
The only racist I detect in here is Hu. Eventually your hate will come full circle bruh.
Your article is full of holes. No-one gives a shit about “I need a doctor”? It’s number 4 on the billboard 100, nearing 5 million views on youtube and was released a week ago. How are dr dre and lupe fiasco “irrelevant artists?”. “Skylar Grey is shit” (in essence what you said). Well she sure hepled Diddy to reach high with that godawful song Coming Home – where the chorus was the only thing worth listening to.
And WTF do skins, bruno mars’s coke habits and the Illuminati have to do with anything?
Why dont you try enjoying music instead of complaining nonsensically about it?
“smoking weed (which is apparently a good time)”
Yes it is.
BOL LIMBAUGH, you cant believe everything you say, you do a great job stirrying the pot. keep it up RUSH, i mean BOL
Think about it like this. The fry cook at McDonalds might be a master chef (in this economy, more possible than you might think), capable of creating unbelievable meals. If that guy thinks he’s going to put a pork belly and fois gras w/ pancetta reduction dish on the menu, he is mistaken. The average money-spending consumer just wants a mf-in’ Big Mac. There are places you can cook extravagant meals, you just won’t be doing the volume that you would at McDonals, nor have the creative liberty. Same goes for major record labels—”Wow, you are a fantastic rapper. Your skills are impressive. Now stop all that bullshit and record something we can actually sell to the masses.”
It isn’t ’94 anymore. If you’re a rapper that isn’t looking to ask “how high” when the label says “jump”—stay independent. It’s easy to forget that the labels aren’t about promoting art, they’re about trying to make $.
Shout out to the South and the Bay for figuring this out a long time ago.
this explains lupe’s problem with the industry. thanks
and ignorant rap continues…. Shout out to the south and the Bay!
@TATIFFY BEST COMMENT EVER!!! OF ALL TIME!!!!
@Tatiffy REAL TALK!!! I like the way artists in the Bay Area control the music scene like a union of independents and they aint on the radio but as you can see with rappers like E-40 the industry won’t draw attention to—them niggas is gettin rich. Rappers like Messy Marv, Yukmouth, The Jacka, them boys is rich, shit Richie Rich too lol. I hink the east Coast is ruining Rap with all their Hip-Hop Entertainment they’re trying to be the Mecca of. They tryna convert hip Hop into Hip-Pop because they can’t compete with other coasts. New York don’t make music. It’s like a gay-illuminati rumor mill
let go of your problem with lupe man.
you’re starting to look petty
Classic Bol. Long post too. Extra nullus.
Almost fell outta my desk laughing so much, classic bol!