Co-creator of a small site called 2DopeBoyz.com — you may have heard of it — Meka has been scribing professionally for several years, with his work appearing everywhere from BET to XXL. When the LA native isn’t causing trouble in the streets of New York, he’s enjoying life as a part-time quasi-DJ. If you take anything he says here too seriously, that's a you problem.
The Curious Case Of Crappy Tattoos
File this under, “Rappers who weren’t hugged enough as a child… or hugged too much.”
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A little-known fact about me: I love tattoos. So much so that I decided to get a shit-ton of them strewn across by body during my younger days. While there is the chance I’ll probably end up regretting some of them when my Nigerian metabolism begins to slow down and the b-boy inside my right bicep begins to do a handstand on either a varicose vein or stretch mark, I can at least take solace that I can still conceal them in case this music shit doesn’t pan out and I have to go back to completing TPS reports for Waste Management while wearing a long-sleeve button-up and tie and earning meager wages.
Again.
If anything, I can credit for my mother for instilling a sense of professionalism during my rather intriguing upbringing, if only for the fact she raised me in a manner that would make her look “ideal” to her fellow Igbo associates. See, Nigerians – in all their email scamming, oil skimming, Nollywood glory – have this thing about them where they want to peacock for the public eye regardless of whatever fallacies are going on in their private lives. That’s why the president of Nigeria’s name is Goodluck Jonathan (Goodluck. Fucking. Jonathan.) of all things. It’s also why my moms is scared that I’ll fuck around and ink my entire body, looking more like JR Smith than Christopher “Kid” Reid.
As a person who already has enough trouble going to the bank to make a deposit without getting a look from the teller that questions how I’m dropping off a decently sized paycheck every month while still dressed in the same oversized-yet-comfortable pajamas I’ve had since college, I can wholeheartedly say that I’m not that stupid.
I can’t speak for everybody, however, as you can see with sudden increase in half-wit rappers splaying tattoos on their faces as if they were OG Bobby Johnson. Perhaps convinced that they lack the intuition and know-how to sell crack rocks or the ability to shoot a wicked jump shot, they get inked up with the idea of making a “statement,” “expressing creative individuality” or whatever faygo logic rappers think is innovative enough to explain the reason they got the equivalent of receiving a rim job from a poisonous cobra on their cheekbone.
Pause at that entire visual.
My mother won’t ever have to worry that I would do something as outlandish as tattooing a body part that’s immediately visible. She may not find my infatuation with ink as intriguing as I do, but at least we both know that I’m never going to look like a skeed-out Matt Barnes all in the name of rap.
people need to stop with the face tattoos, people just keep getting the ugliest shit on their face walkin around lookin stupid as hell…only like 5 people can do that shit and get away with it and NIGGA YOU AINT MIKE TYSON
you know when the game centers around tats instead of music as press/promo, it’s all going downhill…
Back to Writing School. You need to work on your prose.
If you knew you couldn’t rap for shit but got a deal (even tho you’re sorrounded by yes men that got you gassed) you would come up with some sort of diversion too. Only Tek, Mike Tyson and Lil Wayne can pull that off. Birdman got that damn star and it looks like brown Macy’s bag on top of his head. Young LA the gangsta ass duck smh. Gucci Mane? Shit look like a baby dick with adult balls scratching his face -pause.
I bet there’s a rapper with a tramp stamp out there.
If There is, he better not reveal that !! That’s scorn for life !!
I bet Game as one.
this nigga straight said they got the equivalent of receiving a rim job from a poisonous cobra on their cheekbone. ahahahaha!!!!
ur so fucking stupid to think so poorly of ur Nigerian heritage.
Essays like this are so impoartnt to broadening people’s horizons.
l get my arm sleeve tat on tuesday!! Yesssir !!
on another note:
‘you know when the game centers around tats instead of music as press/promo, it’s all going downhill…’
preach brutha!!! All true!
“Nigerians…have this thing about them where they want to peacock for the public eye regardless of whatever fallacies are going on in their private lives.”
It’s not just Nigerians. Belee dat.
Nothing screams “Loser” more than face and hand tattoos.
I KNO U MEAN HAND,EXCUSE ARM,DONT B A TRICK,HATER!
From one Nigerian to another… and I take it your name is actually Emeka shortened to Meka! Or is it the longer Chukwuemeka? Oh by the way I’m not Igbo, but still Nigerian!!! NAIJA 4 LIFE!
yall both nigerians n african like mwah,dont hate on each other u pussies!