Robbie Ettelson has often been described as an East-Coast Elitist by his many detractors, although ironically he considers that title to be a badge of honor. Having founded Unkut.com, and the Salute To Weed Carriers blog, in addition to the subsequent splinter cell organization known only as the Conservative Rap Coalition (often described as the 'FOX News' of rap blogging), Robbie is renowned for championing all that is non-progressive and anti-social in hip-hop."
When Rap Goes The Full Retahd
Rappers are sounding dumber and slower these days, so how is that a good thing?
-
43 Comments
Post A Comment
What’s hot on the mean streets of the internets right now? For starters, it looks like the Hipster Rap invasion of a couple of years back has reached it’s natural conclusion. It started off with rappers wearing girl jeans and man purses, and has now evolved to the inevitable final stage – Ironic Rap. No more blatantly corny t-shirts and oh-so-ironic sunglasses – now deliberately rapping like you have down syndrome is what’s popping. It was one thing when NY rappers would do a token Dirty South record on their album, now these young dudes want to rap over some tinny drum machine that even MC Shy-D wouldn’t have effed with in 1986. You’ve got the Mixxie Boys pouring bottles on the carpet of their mom’s basement and doing a poor-man’s version of Juve’s ‘Ha’, armed with nothing but ‘swag’. No one’s expecting another Big L over here but rhyming ‘That’s Mixxie’ with ‘You Mixxie’ for a whole song is really stretching the friendship.
Odd Future made a whole video based on the joke of the world’s worst freestyle rap session, but their actual records are like Company Flow in Horrorcore mode, which is never a good idea. At least ‘The Based God’ Lil’ B made some funny shit like ‘Wonton Soup’, which is like the ultimate tribute to Ignorant Rap. JT Money from The Poison Clan must be proud as punch right now. In theory, I can’t say a bad word about anyone who releases a song called ‘Suck My Dick Hoe’ in 2010. If only it was so easy to forgive his involvement with The Pack and that corny ‘Vans’ song, or his attempts to make fake ‘emo’ joints like ‘I Still Can’t Sleep’ and ‘Exhibit 6′. DO NOT BE AFRAID TO CRY TO THIS pleads the caption in the video. So that’s what’s been missing, huh? Emotionally Fragile Rap? Didn’t work out for Charles Hamilton so great, although Kid Cudi seems to be having a fine old time crying himself a river.
Elsewhere, other Retahd Rap staples such as Nikki Minaj and Lil’ Wayne have convinced impressionable rap fans that wacky voices and fake accents are the future of the funk. While many a hip-hop critic was floored by the Black Barbie’s turn on ‘Monster’, to my ears it sounded like a rejected take from ‘What’s Up,Doc?’ by the Fu-Schnickens featuring Shaq. Rapping like a cartoon character was already perfected by Snaggapuss from the Bounce Squad, ya big dummy! Weezy seems to have pioneered the genre of Gremlin Rap already, just don’t get him wet or feed him after midnight. Waka Flocka Flame has also proved that going ‘Full Retahd’ is a winning formula, as listening to three of his tracks in a row will make you feel like an effin’ brainiac by comparison to his Short Bus vocal stylings. Rappers of tomorrow, don’t waste your time working on your vocabulary, cadence or breath control. All that’s required is a ridiculous amount of swag, a gimmicky cartoon voice or the ability to cry on demand. If you can somehow combine all three you might just be the future of Retahd Rap…
Hate! Hate! Hate!
Didn’t know the annual ball had started.
SPOKEN (OR RATHER WRITTEN) LIKE A TRUE HATA!
you stupid fucks dont know shit, when it comes to real music. thats not hate its the truth,stupid people tend to think its (HATERS) because someone dont like dumddowned kids music from grown black folks made for that little white girl listening to the radio
…great f*ckin adrticle
What a bullshit article. From what I can tell, the name drops of The Fushnickens, Company Flow and Poison Clan show an older writer, Still you work for XXL, who put all these “dumb rappers” on the covers, on their website and in their bangers section. Stop playing yourself homie. At the same time, the Charles Hamilton hate continues. You may not like his style, but I can vouch, as an older head, that he actually writes his rhymes, although he’s not my cup of tea. You probably feel like a purist, but are really a hypocrite. Put your pen down and walk into your boss’ office and tell him to give Blu the cover next month. Then we can talk. Criticism coming from the same media that highlights the bull and gives no love to those who do work on all the fundementals… in short.. as dropz put it hate hate hate
REAL TALK! I LIKE YOUR COMPARISON: HOW THE THE BLOGGER BRINGS IN THE FU-SCHNIKERS, BUT WRITES FOR A MAGAZINE THAT PUTS ALL THE NEW MAINSTREAM ARTISTS ON THEIR COVER.
I actually enjoy some of Charlie Ham’s music…but some of the other stuff you wrote Robbie may make a reader’s soul burn slow…
“The Short Bus Rap Era” LoLz
ha i loved it
Good fuckin post! 5 stars*****. More ppl need to speak about the bullshit that these dummies are getting away with. I’ll be damn if my kids listen to that bullshit.
Cosigned. couldn’t have said it better myself.
Lil B is the most retarded and “retahded” rapper of all time. No one else comes close. And his fans are even worse.
hell yea.. his fans are fuckin ridiculous.. SMH
LMAO that picture of Charles has me crackin up he really looks retarded there. I fuck with dudes music but that nigga looks straight Corky in the photo..
Not for nothin I been sayin Waka sounds like he has down syndrome. And I’m certainly questioning Gucci’s IQ after son went Haagen Daz on his face.
“Elsewhere, other Retahd Rap staples such as Nikki Minaj and Lil’ Wayne have convinced impressionable rap fans that wacky voices and fake accents are the future of the funk. While many a hip-hop critic was floored by the Black Barbie’s turn on ‘Monster’, to my ears it sounded like a rejected take from ‘What’s Up,Doc?’ by the Fu-Schnickens featuring Shaq. ”
Also cats have been using accents and shit for a minute. Yall remember Dana Dane? He fucked with that fake British flow way before Em “ran dem accents into the ground” and Minaj went through multiple personality disorder on a track.
Most of yall youngins prob never even heard of the Fu Schnickens SMH
Sure havent and could care less who gives a damn old heads annoy me wit comments like that
I bet there are are more who are praying for your soul than wanna sh^T on this comment…how life is, YOU will be the next OG than die young…ready?
Robbie made it to the promised land!
Commenters, don’t play yourself. Unkut is one of the greatest sites you will probly never visit cause of all the mean mugs in the sidebar reminding you of your dad that listens to that Hip Hop stuff.
I laughed.
Great post, Robbie.