Byron Crawford aka Bol (Swahili for "the gulliest one") is the founder of the critically acclaimed hip-hop blog, ByronCrawford.com: The Mindset of a Champion, where he discusses racism, homophobia, healthy living, respect for women, tolerance for religion, and who really runs the entertainment industry. Bol’s views very rarely, actually, never reflect those of XXL or its staff.
The role Kanye was born to play
Complete with teh ghey sex scene.
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Yesterday, in this site’s news section, there was a post on how Kanye West is set to play a teh ghey character in a film produced by Jay-Z and Oprah Winfrey. Then, 15 minutes later, there was a another post, in which Kanye cleared things up, not about whether or not about whether or not Jay-Z and Oprah are paying him to play a fudge in a movie, but about a joke he attempted to make on Twitter about how a song by Britney Spears, of all people, is currently beating out the godawful “H.A.M.” for the title of #1 song on iTunes[1]. I’ve taken this to mean that Kanye really is set to play a teh ghey character in a film produced by Jay-Z and Oprah Winfrey.
Further reasons why this must be true:
(1) Kanye has been known to go to ridonkulous lengths to prove he isn’t a homophobe. As if.
Remember that bizarre MTV special from back in like, ’05, where he showed off some of the artwork he did when he was in high school, and then he lectured the camera on why it’s not cool to be a homophobe, mmkay? A teh ghey newspaper which has since gone out of business did a story on it, and used, as an example of the opposition, i.e. of someone who thinks it’s okay to be a homophobe, none other than yours truly. Maybe there could be a Bol character in this film. They could Denzel (of course) to play me. I’ll write the “dialogue.” Oprah, holler at your boy.
(2) The Illuminati has been known to force rappers to kiss other guys in movies.
Will Smith did it, back in Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon (nullus), or whatever it’s called. I can still remember, umpteen years after the fact, watching a segment on Entertainment Tonight on how the role involved him kissing another guy and thinking that he must be secretly teh ghey, and this was a way for him to get away with kissing another guy in public, similar to how the suspect kid in your high school was always the main one wanting to play that game where you jerk off onto a cookie.
(3) There’s a connection between Jay-Z, Oprah, and Will Smith, who’s probably involved with this as well.
Jay-Z was the first rapper on Oprah since MC Hammer on Christmas Day back in like, 1990 (I remember that shit, too), and the next thing you know, I’m hearing he’s producing some teh ghey-looking Broadway show (redundancy alert) with Will Smith, and signing Will Smith’s daughter, who looks like she was put together in a centrifuge at the $cientology headquarters out in LA, to Roc Nation, alongside J. Cole and Jay Electronica. I even seem to recall hearing about the two of them going half on an investment in the beauty products company. Question: Why in the fuck would a guy want to invest in a beauty products company? I mean, I could see a chicken wing restaurant. Shout out to E-40.
(4) There’s no excuse to kiss another guy in a movie, unless you’re a fudge.
I’m assuming that’s the extent of the teh ghey activity in this movie, Stinkfingers Coltrane, or whatever it’s called, but who knows. All it says in the aforementioned post is that the role includes a homosexual love scene. Anyway, here’s why I don’t buy the argument that it’s homophobic to refuse kissing a guy in a movie. Yeah, straight guys kiss girls in movies all the time and it’s supposedly just acting, but who in their right mind really thinks that’s all it is? Not to ruin the game for straight male actors everywhere… but there’s no way a guy can even stand close enough to a woman to look down her shirt and not have it be at least kinda sexual, let alone kiss her. If there was, shouldn’t guys be allowed to fuck girls in (mainstream, boring) films? I rest on your face. No fishsticks.
(5) This is obviously part of Oprah’s plan to emasculate black men.
Who in the fuck has even heard of a teh ghey jazz band? Jazz musicians were probably even more straight than rappers. Not that that’s saying a whole lot, these days. You’d never see a jazz musician wearing a suit two sizes too small, to show off an outline of his crotch. Ever heard of a zoot suit? That’s probably because they didn’t want other guys checking out their junk while they were playing a solo. It’s a known fact (look it up) that Miles Davis had one foot in the jazz game and one foot in the pimp game throughout the 1970s and would smack the shit out of a woman.
[1] Doesn’t he know you can just buy a shedload of copies of your own song, like that kid Sam Adams? Or has Steve Jobs since put a safeguard in place against that? It’s been a while since I’ve heard anything from Sam Adams. Though I did hear, on NPR or some shit, about some black kid who was stealing people’s credit cards and using them to buy his own music.
XXL,
Thanks for not posting my comments.
*Yawn!*
Kanye, Oprah, Chicago, stand up!
Byron, your homophobia is not funny…it’s a real problem in this country and is no different than any other form of bigotry. Equal rights and respect for ALL.
blah blah blah pussy nasty blah blah blah human rights blah blah blah its natural blah blah blah 21st century blah blah blah
fuck you faggot
gays should be murdered killed and extirpated from the planet
yes im a homophobe!!!
NO im not a servile religious believer!!!>
i just hate gays……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….!
LOL just fuckin with u gay supporters couldn’t care either way
Go figger…
I said this yesterday in that news posting:
“the sad part is the story about this band and their music will be overlooked because people will want to see how gay Kanye “acts””
^ was I wrong? Bol didn’t even note the part about the jazz band…
Kid Sister ft Kanye West – Pro Nails
this is visual & audio proof that Kanye is either Bi or Gay
he still a great artist though, no homo
Miles would slap the shit outta anyone, including police officers. One helluva trumpeter though. Oh, not that it’s important or anything but Miles was bisexual.
Any of yall remember several years back when who “THE gay rapper”was speculation ran wild in hip-hop???
Fast Forward a few years and we got….
Wayne kissing Baby on the mouth
Kanye ushering in the new hipster/euro style fashion to hip-hop and potentially kissing a dude on film
Chingy with the tranny shit
Ma$e with the tranny hookers
Lil B threatening to rape niggaz
Cats rockin too much pink (peace to Dipset and Charles Hamilton)
Skinny jeans
Minaj claming she thinks we will have an openly gay mc in her lifetime
Xzibit callin Diddy out for bein fruity
Rumors of Will Smith and Jada going both ways…
Just ironic to me….
“similar to how the suspect kid in your high school was always the main one wanting to play that game where you jerk off onto a cookie.”
Bol, what the FUCK are you talking about? I think you just exposed yourself. Who the fuck plays a “game” (presumably, with other dudes) where they jerk off on a cookie? I can see jerking off on a cookie as an act of kink, to get an extreme pr0n-level bitch to eat it (some innovative pr0n director should jump on that), but standing around with a bunch of dudes, giggling watching each other jerk off on a cookie, is TOTALLY “GHEY”.
Bol grew up with white boys, obviously.
Charles Mingus used to beat the shit outta people on stage for missin’ notes and fuckin up chord changes.
“Minaj claming she thinks we will have an openly gay mc in her lifetime”
^ wouldn’t that be her? could’ve swore i saw rhianna say she’s minaj’s sex partner…and you forgot nore stating skateboard p’s a fudge packer…
lol yeah homey I thought I saw in an interview Minaj was bi…in any case, she would be able to get away with it before any male MC… lest we forget about Queen Latifah who heads have been thinking is a lesbian her whole career….
I didn’t know Nore called out Pharrell though…not really suprised though…funny to think how some of cats favorite MC’s are suspect….
Miles Davis tested Bill Evan’s sexuality as a joke before he got to join the band. Case and point, from Miles’ bio:
“when Bill Evans…first got with the band….i told him, ‘Bill you know what you have to do, don’t you, to be in this band?’ He looked at me puzzled and shit and shook his head and said, ‘No, Miles, what do i have to do?’ I said, ‘Bill, now you know we all brothers and shit and everybody’s in this thing together and so what i came up with for you is that you got to make it with everybody, you know what i mean? You got to fuck the band.’ … He thought about it for fifteen minutes and then came back and told me, ‘Miles, I thought about what you said and I just can’t do it, I just can’t do that. I’d like to please everyone and make everyone happy here, but I just can’t do that.’ I looked at him and smiled and said, ‘My man!’”