O let’s do whatever the fuck we want

The incident that supposedly took place as a result of the BET Awards this past weekend was mind boggling for a number of reasons, not least of which the fact that an artist could give a performance so bad it would upset a nominal black figurehead at BET, i.e. someone who was once ostensibly responsible for "What That Thang Smell Like."

I say supposedly, because who even knew there was a BET Awards this past weekend? Do we know for a fact that there really was such a show? Did anyone watch it live, or did everyone just hear about it after the fact the next day on Twitter. I suppose it could have been the talk of Black People Twitter on Sunday, but I wouldn't know, because I was busy watching great shows like Mad Men and Bored to Death. Plus, I went to a concert Sunday night. (Not anything you fruits would be interested in.) I was busier than a motherfucker.

You'd think they'd put the BET Awards on a night when there isn't jack schitt worthwhile to watch on TV, so it would at least have a chance - like on a Tuesday. They could even put it on during the day, since I'm sure a lot of the demographic for that sort of thing doesn't work. If cable networks like BET could get an idea of what it's viewers were doing and thinking at any given time of day, like Twitter, who knows what it's their programming would be like? They could be missing out on some major opportunities.

It seems like every few months now I find myself writing about the BET Awards - not because I find that sort of thing interesting, but because there was an incident: someone got arrested for trying to buy guns from the hip-hop police; someone who recently committed an especially unfortunate crime tried to redeem themselves by giving a deeply moving performance; Nicki Minaj was placed in a cipher with KRS-One, where she kicked a freestyle (not even a freestyle per se) about a cheese sangwich. (That really did happen, right?) It could be that BET has moved to putting on an award show every few months, on some craven, Complex magazine shit. What's the actual name of these shows? Does it have the word annual in it?

At the most recent of these shows, they let Wacka Flocka perform, and I guess he went off script. He was supposed to stay on stage and sing a certain song, but instead he went down into the audience and sang whatever the fuck he wanted to sing. Whatever it was, I'm sure it had a lot of curse words in it. I'm only familiar with a couple of his songs, and both of them are just vile. There's "Hard in the Paint," the most famous of them, which is actually kinda fun to sing along to, once you learn the words (all 10 of them, if you don't count the multiple uses of the word motherfucker, in all of its protean variations, as individual words unto themselves), and then there's another one, where he's singing about gun violence, which is an especially chilling listen, because you know he keeps getting shot at by Young Jeezy's weed carriers. Once one of those clowns actually learns how to shoot it's gonna be like watching those old 2Pac interviews where he talked about dying young.

So then the nominal black figurehead over at BET went on Twitter and complained that the show went well (I'm sure) except for the part with Wacka Flocka. To his credit, the idea of an artist leaving the stage during a televised awards show and doing a completely different song from the one he agreed to is completely ridiculous. Nothing like that could have happened at one of these white award shows. Unless you count the Ozone Awards. lol What did they actually show on TV? Just an empty stage, and the sounds of "Oh, Let's Do It," the new black national anthem, in the background? If someone from the University of Phoenix Online saw, they might have pulled advertising, especially if they specifically requested for their ad to run immediately following a performance by Wacka Flocka - a distinct possibility.

There must have been something else going on, for him to call Wacka Flocka out like that. I was altogether unfamiliar with the guy as recently as this time yesterday, but he doesn't strike me as the kind of guy to take a rapper to task for putting on a shitty performance. On BET. I saw a picture of him and Wacka Flocka (they got together and patched things up), and he looked like he might be suspect. But it's hard to tell, once a guy gets to be middle age. It could just be that his virility has started. And Wacka Flocka must be as big as he is ignorant, despite presumably having grown up in an environment with a lot of weed smoke in the air. Then there's the way he just completely folded, once Wacka Flocka got wind of his complaint. Flocka's response was more or less, "Kiss my ass, you aging, balding fruit." And so he apologized. Tha fuck? The TIs who really run BET must have told him they couldn't afford to have him beefing with Wacka Flocka. He plays an important role in the Illuminati's scheme.