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NEWS FLASH! Johnnie Cochran is DEAD!

T.I. was denied bond today after getting jammed with guns and shit at the Walgreens down the street from the BET Hip Hop Awards–hours before the show. Now, before I move on, let me address something.

The Atlanta Journal-Constitution got a quote from Young Dro saying “its just a mistake.” I’m sorry, buying illegal firearms knowing you are a felon is not a “mistake.” Neither is planning to pick them up in a Walgreen’s parking lot in broad daylight down the street from a venue where you were just rehearsing for perhaps one the biggest performances of the year. No, that is not a “mistake,” that’s “dumb shit,” word to Cee-Lo Green.

But just like Lo urged, we probably shouldn’t “hold that against him though.” Why not? Because I honestly believe that Tip wasn’t about to go out and start a war. Even though its very bad timing for this to happen right after releasing “Hurt” as a single. Dude is probably, just like so many other Black males, addicted to guns and trouble. As much as he may feel that he has earned back his right to own firearms and vote (Why couldn’t the nigga get in trouble for raising hell at a voting booth?), he can’t, he just can’t. Ya’ll remember that episode of Punk’d when they though it would be funny to plant a gun in his luggage. He looked nervous the whole time and looked pissed when the cameras came out talking about “YOU’VE BEEN PUNK’D!” Why would he think it was all good to get guns now?

As crazy as the situation is, we can’t call what he did a “mistake” it has to be called for what it is, dumb shit. Perhaps if we started telling people straight up “yo, that was some dumb ass shit you just did” instead of enabling them with “we all make mistakes,” dumb shit probably wouldn’t happen that often.

But, back the to matter at hand.

Rappers, athletes, entertainers and all you other Black folks with money: NEWS FLASH! Johnnie Cochran is DEAD!

Gone are the days when you could invite young children into your home, molest them and then just pay Johnnie to make the shit go away. Gone are the days where you could just shoot up a club, hop in a limo, try to pay the driver to take the gun and get Johnnie to make the allegations disappear. Gone are the days where you could stab a nigga in the club for bootlegging your CD and get JC to wash that sin away. Gone are the days when you could kill your ex-wife and her boyfriend, blame it on a racist cop and make the world believe it.

NO! You cannot just ride around with illegal or unlicensed weapons anymore. NO! You cannot fight dogs. Johnnie Cochran isn’t around to save asses anymore and not everybody is privy to the treatment Robert “Real Talk” Kelly has been getting for the last six years. So, that leave two options, sit yo’ ass down or start pissing on little girls. Better yet, just stay in the house until January 1, 2008, because 2007 hasn’t been the best year for Black celebrities and the law.

From what I’ve seen, that lawyer Scott Leemon who got the world to believe that Young Buck didn’t stab anybody at the VIBE awards is pretty good. He’s the same lawyer that’s been keeping Jeezy and Busta out of jail when shit happens. Maybe Tip should ask them for his number.

But yeah, ya’ll pray for this dude, he’s gonna need it.

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