Clipse catch a brick

"A fucking DISASTER! According to hitsdailydouble, Jay-Z sold 133,146 records last week, a whopping drop of 81%. In other words, ALL BETS ARE OFF!"

—Bob Lefsetz, music industry legend

Again it's Wednesday, so you know what that means. Time for yet another post lamenting the fact that rap CDs are selling as if you could get AIDS from listening to them.

Last week it was Jay-Z only selling something like 600,000 copies of Kingdom Come when it had been predicted he would sell somewhere in the neighborhood of 850,000 his first week out. At the time, I suspected this was due to bad word of mouth after the first day or so.

Now comes word that the album has experienced a fairly monumental 81% drop in its second week. Holy crap! That's pretty bad, even by current hip-hop standards. Again, I can't help but think that word has gotten out about how much of a shit sandwich the album is.

Had the album actually been worth a shit, my bet is that it may have actually sold the 850,000 copies that first week and not experienced nearly as much of a drop its second week out. With all the hype surrounding it, it could very well have been the best-selling Jay-Z album evar.

But who gives a shit about Jay's album sales anyway? The guy's still worth like half a billion dollars. That alone proves he's a brilliant business executive and also still a better MC than Lil' Wayne at this stage. The fact that the Olsen Twins are worth about as much is neither here nor there.

Similarly, the Clipse claim to have lived ridonkulously well for the past three years without spending any rap dollars, and we should hope they aren't just making that up. At the rate Hell Hath No Fury is selling, it's not like they're gonna have any rap money to spend anyway.

Their long-awaited hip-hop Yankee Hotel Foxtrot (except that it's not the best album evar) only sold a pathetic 78,000 copies, to debut at number 14 on Billboard's Top 200 albums chart in a week when hardly any notable new albums were released.

Oh, how fascinating it would be to be a fly on the wall in the offices at Jive Records right about now. You know somebody's gotta be kicking himself for dropping all that bank on videos for shitty singles like "Mr. Me Too" and "Wamp Wamp."

All because the Clipse are a few d-bags on the Internets' favorite rap group. Man, I could've told Jive a long time ago that hardly anyone would run out and cop Hell Hath No Fury on the strength of those two shit sandwiches. In fact, I did.

• "I don't hear a single" [XXL]
  

To paraphrase Samuel L. Jackson in Jackie Brown, obviously what we have here is a clear case of Internets hype trumping common sense. I happen to like the Clipse, but I can't help but think it's a good thing Hell Hath No Fury only did as well as it did.