G-Unit Vs The Yankees
Torre will be rockin pinstripes for one more year! Woo Hoo! Hooray!
Didn’t want to see that other 40’s Baby Pinella in there anyway. I
wouldn’t have minded some new blood like Girardi or Mattingly as head
coach though. After watching countless hours of sportscenter, playoff
games, WFAN and reading Lupica’s Daily News rants, you’d start to see
many similarities between The New York Yankees and The Guerilla Unit.
50 Cent = George Steinbrenner
The Bosses! The puppet masters! You go to them when it’s time to open up the budget. Both have a history of signing big names that are years out of their prime. They demand excellence year in and year out, not
satisfied with achievements that most teams would be perfectly content
with (going gold, winning the pennant).
Lloyd Banks = A-Rod
They definitely both had the potential to be great. He might’ve
even had a better career with another click. But playing under the
bright NYC lights, folding under pressure is what these two have in
common. Neither can get a hit single to save their lives. And they both
seem totally oblivious to the jeers and negative innuendo surrounding
them. Yeah they both had decent numbers this year (A-Rod .290 AVG 35 HR
130 RBIs Vs Banks 160,000-170,000 first week), but far from the MVP level seasons they had only a couple years ago. It also after the next season/album, it’s questionable on whether either will asked back.
Young Buck = Derek Jeter
The native son of both teams, these guys just can’t do any wrong in the
eyes of their fans. Their bosses love them, incredibly consistent and
the fire starter for both squads. No one is respected more on their
respective teams then El Capitan and Buck Marley.
The Game = Alphonso Soriano
They’re both not team players. No matter how incredible the statistics,
they end up being a cancer to their teams. Both have been traded
numerous times: Game from Aftermath to G-Unit back to Aftermath and now
Geffen, Soriano from The Bombers to Texas now with The Nationals. And
you just have a feeling they’ll be packing their bags again before its
Tony Yayo = Bernie Williams
They were interictal parts of the dynasties in the beginning but now
they’re just being kept around for sentimental value. Both organizations would be better off benching these older stars.
Lil Scrappy = Johnny Damon
A great off-season pick up for both teams. Their additions just added to the “rich getting richer” mentalities of both senior management offices. Scrap and Damon are both having solid years and are bringing much need life to their new franchises.
Hot Rod = Jared Wright
Both need to be cut as soon as possible. They might be decent players
but they can’t handle the pressures of playing with great teams.
Mobb Deep = Randy Johnson & Cory Lidle (R.I.P.)
These off season acquisitions seemed like a good idea on paper but their just isn’t any room for these old timers anymore. Too many cooks in the kitchen ruins the meal. I can see Prodigy becoming so depressed that he flies a plane into Queensbridge.
M.O.P. = Melky Cabrera & Andy Phillips
Everyone knows they’re good but it’s hard for them to get their shine in such an “all-star” line-up. Maybe in 2007 after the bosses get ride of some dead weight, these guys will finally get to show the world what
they’re made of.
I’d also like to see some off-season acquisitions. Ryan Howard/Uncle
Murda would provide some much needed youth and firepower to both
rosters. New pitching/lyricist would be nice as well. Especially if they want to stay NY’s team because the Mets/Diplomats are right on their ass (no Piazza). But no matter how well the cross-town rivals do, all eyes will always be on the evil empires.