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Jimmy & Khia: No Soap For You

Whenever a new Jim Jones picture pops up in circulation, I feel the sudden urge to break out my wet wipes and rub my monitor and keyboard down. As I mentioned earlier today, he always looks like he just finished up making dirt angels on the side of the road. He keeps showing up to these Hip-Hop Summit town hall meetings looking like he has been rummaging in Harlem garbage. I don’t know why the good Dr. Ben doesn’t forewarn him.

Capo needs to realize that his gangsta privileges in the hood won’t be revoked if he takes daily showers. Don’t give me that “hustlin’ same clothes for days” shit either. It’s summer time, bitches! Heat and sweaty balls do not mix.

While I’m on the subject of people who look like they haven’t bathed since the late ’90s, Khia has been driving my side of the internet crazy lately. The video for her single “Snatch the Cat Back” plays like a space age PSA about the dangers of sexually transmitted diseases.

After my initial viewing my vulva started to immediately ache something awful.

But it’s not the shitty video that has been producing hot threads on hip-hop message boards; its what she had to say about other female rappers in the August 2006 edition of XXL.

How can you be a queen when you are being pimped by a bunch of niggas? All of ’em, Foxy and Jay-Z, Lil’ Kim and Biggie, Shawnna and DTP, Mia X and No Limit. Every big female artists that ever came out, came out under a man. How can you claim to hold the crown like that?

Oh really? She also had some less than nice things to say about Miss Miami.

Oh, yes, Trina, uh, uh. I don’t do her. I feel when you look at Trina, you lookin’ at sex. Most of her fans are men that wanna fuck. Every time you see Trina, she half-naked, or in her video she talking about being a female pimp. At her shows, she’s lap dancing and kissing girls. No female fans don’t wanna see that. She’s catering to what men wanna see. She’s just an entertainer. When I look at her, I just see a whore. I don’t want my daughter being nothing like Trina.

Ah shit, the Diamond Princess is going to break out the Crayola crayons and legal pad soon. I smell a possible diss record in the future. She better call Coach Carter first so he can meet her at the studio to help her fill in the blanks.

In Khia’s defense I will say that she did bring up some valid points during her interview. But the pot called the kettle black more than once. Plus it’s fucking Khia we’re talking about. When I look at her I don’t exactly see Mother Theresa.

However, please trust and believe she doesn’t give two shits about what other people think. Check out the ignorance below.

Khia “I’ve Been Called A Bitch”

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