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Here comes the cold water

Here’s an idea: Why don’t OutKast just scrap Idlewild altogether and pretend it never existed in the first place?

The movie was always destined to be teh ghey anyway, just because all movies that star rappers kinda suck balls. Think about it. And what little I’ve seen of Idlewild up until this point has struck me as being especially Under the Cherry Moon-esque. You know Andre 3000 is “fascinated” with Prince, so this wouldn’t necessarily fall outside the realm of possibility.

How exactly does one go from not having a film career to speak of (Four Brothers notwithstanding) to making an Under the Cherry Moon-style botched abortion, completely bypassing a Purple Rain in the process? Because Andre 3000 was never Prince in the first place, you dumb bitches.

Somewhere along the line (possibly during sex with Erykah Badu) Andre 3000 got the bright idea that being a gay-ass singer was somehow more “advanced” than being a rapper. Next thing you know, he was dressing like a homeless gay person, eating all types of seeds, and riding on a different bus than Big Boi, for feng shui purposes.

Fortunately though, he somehow came up with “Hey Ya,” a great song and the main reason people bought about five million copies of Lovesexy, or whatever it’s called. Of course the rub is that the legions of young crackety-cracks who bought that album could care less about ’30s marching bands and what have you. Perhaps it’s time for Andre 3000 to fall back and salvage what’s left of his street cred. Like Common is doing.

You get the idea at this point that the main reason we’re being “treated” to Idlewild this fall, or whenever the fuck it’s coming out, is because whatever corporations put up the money for it spent way too much to just say fuck it, like Jive is doing with the Clipse. It’s already been three years and who knows how many millions of dollars in the making. And Lovesexy, gay as it was, was still one of the last rap albums to do its numbers.

Only thing is, if Idlewild sucks balls it could ether OutKast’s career. Early word on the few leaked songs from the album is decidedly not positive. Even Sean Fennessey is giving “Morris Brown” a vote of no confidence. The TIs might be better off hiding the negatives of Idlewild in a locked closet like they do with that movie Jerry Lewis made in a Nazi death camp, lest OutKast end up only popular in France.

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