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To all the fallen soldiers

New rule: People who died in the War in Iraq shouldn’t count as far as Memorial Day is concerned.

Generally, I could care less about those who were unfortunate enough to have died in a war, even if said war was for a good cause – like thinning out the Indian population. But I notice in the last couple of years, the right wing in this country has taken Memorial Day as an opportunity to strum up tacit approval for the bullshit War in Iraq by suggesting that we’re obligated to honor the poor bastards who died in it.


Just like we don’t honor the dumbass kids who tried to break into Six Flags overnight and ended up drowning in Thunder River[1], it’d be silly to suggest that we have any moral obligation to honor the poor bastards that died in the so-called War on Terror. Furthermore, it’d be a disservice to the men who died, say, fighting the Nazis to honor these d-bags alongside them.

Interestingly enough, the Memorial Day holiday began in the years following the Civil War as a day to remember the Union soldiers who died in that war. As such, it was understood from the beginning that not every dead soldier is worth having a barbecue over. If your great grandpa died fighting for the confederacy, then that’s what he gets for fighting for the confederacy.

The only rib tip in his honor will be eaten at John Ashcroft’s house.

After World War I, the holiday was extended out, presumably by the US government[2], to honor those who died in any war or military action. Obviously, this is an awful idea in the sense that it suggests that anyone who ever died in any military action on behalf of the US is worthy of being honored or otherwise remembered.

That said, Memorial Day is widely understood to honor those who died in this countries major foreign wars – World Wars I and II, Vietnam, and what have you. No one’s taking any time out today to sweat the motherfuckers that died during, say, Iran-Contra[3]. Similarly, I won’t be taking any time out today to honor the 2500 or so (yikes!) d-bags who died in Iraq.

As far as I’m concerned, that’s what they get.

[1] Look it up. That shit happens all the time.

[2] It doesn’t say in Wikipedia how this came to be.

[3] People died during that, right?

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